Rejoice! The pope is here to save the world from the queers

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What has prompted Pope Benedict to pull an interfaith coalition together? The terrible threat of equal marriage rights


The pope has called together a coalition of faiths.

The fires of Smithfield and Madrid; the wars that tore apart Germany and Palestine and the Punjab – in the end, none of it was all that important. All that blood and death can be set aside. The acres of print and manuscript that defined the crucial importance of the incarnation and the precise nature of the Trinity, the arguments about the status of different revelations, the verbal and occasionally literal vitriol poured over the heads of theologians and clerics – all irrelevant.

From now on, between the faith communities of the world, it is what Tom Lehrer once called National Brotherhood Week. Only this time it’s not – as in Lehrer’s song – the Jews everyone can agree to hate, because parts of Judaism are joining this particular coalition; it’s the queers.

Honestly, we should be proud. Ask, not for millennia of reparation for torture and murder in the name of faith, but just for the right to have committed relationships celebrated on an equal footing – and all the horrible old men who normally spend all their time disliking each other are suddenly in love. In a totally chaste way, of course.

A thousand years ago, popes called the warring principalities of Europe together for crusades against Islam. These days, Pope Benedict asks Orthodox bishops, and those rabbis inclined to co-operate and “the more significant representatives of Islam” – typical Vatican arrogance to have a view on which ones that is – to lobby against the growing tide of legislation to permit those churches that disagree with him to celebrate and bless same-sex partnerships. Of course, most of those other faiths regard his commitment to lifelong celibacy in the name of God as equally perverse, but in the name of brotherly oppurtunism are prepared to forget that too.

We might think the little token gesture of equal marriage trivial in the face of global warming, mass starvation, the banking crisis, the war of rival imperialisms – but the pope knows the truth. Equal marriage is, at the same time, the greatest threat there is and a symptom of what leads to all the others. Which, when it comes down to it, is the other thing that obsesses Benedict apart from other people’s sex lives – a particular interpretation of post-modernism. Benedict is a theologian after all, and regards philosophies, especially philosophies he misunderstands, as being totally his business.

Written By: Roz Kaveney
continue to source article at guardian.co.uk

35 COMMENTS

  1. Those of us who are trans – Benedict really has a problem with us, it seems – are not engaged in an attempt to confound nature, but to confirm it. Versions of trans identity have existed in many cultures and times – knowing this inspires me to be humble about the comparative privilege I experience rather than arrogant in my choice of it.

    “Zose transgender veirdos really get on mein vick. It just iss not nadural for men to go around vearing vomen’s clozing! ….Ach, du lieber Gott in Himmel, ziss corset is tight today, und mein liddle red slippers are hurding ze papal tootsies. Still, ve grin und bear it, und zey do match ze brassiere vich lifts und separates mein man-boobens.”

  2. Its a sign of the times! They’ve completely lost their grip! Gone are the days when Europe cowered in the shadow of a terrifying theocracy. No longer can they burn and torture. The days when they could rape children with impunity and guarantee silence have largely gone. The days when they can terrify kids and doddering old women with bogey stories are slipping away. Fast disapearing are the days of unctuous shite peddlars living off ponzi epistomological schemes.

    To have to form a coalition with those they have despised and hated. How are the mighty fallen.

  3. A lot of people who are against homosexuals, are homosexuals themselves, but they don’t know or are afraid for it. I was a bookseller for more then 30 years. One of the specialities in my bookshop in Rotterdam were gaybooks.

  4. In reply to #10 by Hans van den Bos:

    A lot of people who are against homosexuals, are homosexuals themselves, but they don’t know or are afraid for it. I was a bookseller for more then 30 years. One of the specialities in my bookshop in Rotterdam were gaybooks.

    What’s a gay book?

  5. And women´s priesthood is a worse sin than pedophilia, that´s not to forget and a clear sign that the RCC has underestimate the real danger and what may be considered as criminal under the law (and all the political issues that come from people living together).

    Vatican Equates Women’s Ordination with Priest Pedophilia?

  6. I think we can officially talk shit in public about the Catholic church and diss church goers for supporting a douche regime. There is enough baggage to throw in their faces now. I truly believe public verbal confrontation is the new level of engagement.

    Before, I was always polite—”Well, each to their own.”

    Now, I will be honest—”Well, you support a pedophile enabler who blesses the murder of homosexuals and demands the second class status of women, you are fucking evil.”

  7. In reply to #12 by maria melo:

    And women´s priesthood is a worse sin than pedophilia, that´s not to forget and a clear sign that the RCC has underestimate the real danger and what may be considered as criminal under the law (and all the political issues that come from people living together).

    Vatican Equates Women’s Ordination with Priest Pedophilia?

    I know maria. It’s fucked up. But that’s religion for ya.

  8. In reply to #13 by aquilacane:

    I think we can officially talk shit in public about the Catholic church and diss church goers for supporting a douche regime. There is enough baggage to throw in their faces now. I truly believe public verbal confrontation is the new level of engagement.

    Before, I was always polite—”Well, each to their own.”

    Now, I will be honest—”Well, you support a pedophile enabler who blesses the murder of homosexuals and demands the second class status of women, you are fucking evil.”

    Evil in the purest sense of the word. Which was God….remember:-)

  9. In reply to #16 by Sjoerd Westenborg:

    Millennia from now, historians and archaeologists will be under the impression that ‘the Pope’ was a personification of evil, rather than an actual person.

    What makes you think that that’s not the ultimate truth?

  10. Has this man ever been in a picture where he looks human? He appears ghastly in every photo I’ve ever seen. Then again, he appears ghastly in every opinion and statement he makes….. so guess the two go hand in hand.

  11. In reply to #16 by Sjoerd Westenborg

    In a millennia or two, perhaps the myth of the Pope and his evil empire will blend into the myth of Darth Vader of something like that. Just like today a lot of people think the heroes of the Trojan War were real.

    But within a few decades, after equal marriage rights are taken for granted as a basic human right, the RCC will claim it was Christianity that was the champion of gay rights. Just like Christianity really freed the slaves instead of endorsing slavery for centuries and like Hitler was really an atheist instead of a Roman Catholic.

  12. I loved ‘The Vatican Rag”, thanks. It should be played every time the Pope comes out on the balcony.

    In reply to #1 by IDLERACER:

    THIS would have been the more obvious Tom Lehrer tune to link to.

  13. In reply to #16 by Sjoerd Westenborg:

    Millennia from now, historians and archaeologists will be under the impression that ‘the Pope’ was a personification of evil, rather than an actual person.

    I think historians came to that conclusion a while ago. Archaeologists will already know.

  14. In reply to #19 by ColdThinker:

    In reply to #16 by Sjoerd Westenborg

    In a millennia or two, perhaps the myth of the Pope and his evil empire will blend into the myth of Darth Vader of something like that. Just like today a lot of people think the heroes of the Trojan War were real.

    But within a few decades, after equal marriage rights are taken for granted as a basic human right, the RCC will claim it was Christianity that was the champion of gay rights. Just like Christianity really freed the slaves instead of endorsing slavery for centuries and like Hitler was really an atheist instead of a Roman Catholic.

    The church has always been the last to take up a more civilized way. They are Antimoral and only change when membership drops.

  15. It’s hard to take pronouncements on gay marriage seriously from the leader of a group of celibate men, especially while he’s wearing a dress and a pointy hat. Whenever the pope speaks, we should all just chuckle and move on. Or better yet, ignore him completely.

  16. I’m glad this deepens the distinction between Buddhism and other religions as not a faith. They won’t be at the table. Their highest bodhisattva, Kuan Yin, is a tranny (“Oh man, is Padme hung!”).

    I can’t see Hindus getting behind this either. What about Taoists, animists, Wiccans, Unitarians, Jains, American aborigine religions, pagans, Sikhs, Cao Dai, etc? Does he just mean Abrahamism? What a wanker. They already hate gay people AND worship the same war-god. It hasn’t brought them together yet.

    This is why they should not have given all the money to the Jews. Most of the people who died in the Holocaust were not Jews, and if people valued the atrocity against the other groups that were gassed and incinerated, such hateful rhetoric would now be impossible.

    Doug Stanhope compares the legacy of the Nazis to the Catholic Church, the Church being clearly more destructive and evil throughout time, leading up to this very day. He says people should be more concerned with that, such that we might say “did you hear about that new Nazi? He used to be a Pope!”

  17. While I agree with most of your post, This is not a Meme, I must disagree with your statement below since most of the people who died in the Holocaust, were Jews. In fact, nearly six million of them were since Holocaust means genocide of the Jews. Another name for it is Shoah. Altogether in WW2 many millions of non-Jews died, including in the concentration camps, but those deaths, as well as 20 million Russians, both combatants and civilians, are not strictly considered as victims of the Shoah but of the war more generally. :)

    In reply to #27 by This Is Not A Meme:*
    >

    Most of the people who died in the Holocaust were not Jews, and if people valued the atrocity against the other groups that were gassed and incinerated, such hateful rhetoric would now be impossible.

  18. Quoting Benedict:
    ” the family was threatened “to its foundations” by attempts to change its “true structure”.

    So his nuns marrying a 2000 year old zombie in a state of bigamy is part of the true structure of family?

  19. In reply to #4 by Katy Cordeth:

    “Zose transgender veirdos really get on mein vick. It just iss not nadural for men to go around vearing vomen’s clozing! ….Ach, du lieber Gott in Himmel, ziss corset is tight today, und mein liddle red slippers are hurding ze papal tootsies. Still, ve grin und bear it, und zey do match ze brassiere vich lifts und separates mein man-boobens.”

    Richard Wagner needs to score this!

  20. I see the Church of England is playing the game of comical fudge!

    bbc.co.uk/news
    The Church of England has dropped its prohibition on gay clergy in civil partnerships becoming bishops.

    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
    The announcement, from the Church’s House of Bishops, would allow gay clergy to become bishops if they promise to be celibate.
    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
    The Rev Colin Coward is director of the Changing Attitude group, which campaigns for the full inclusion of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the Church.
    He said the church “has issued a statement which will be laughed at by the majority in this country.” ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

  21. In reply to #18 by crookedshoes:

    Has this man ever been in a picture where he looks human? He appears ghastly in every photo I’ve ever seen. Then again, he appears ghastly in every opinion and statement he makes….. so guess the two go hand in hand.

    But what a great photo! I think it’s the cropping that makes it so effective, the way he bursts out of the bottom corner like a rather sad weirdo popping up to say “boo!” from behind a hedge.

  22. To fight the new Infidels, the Gay people! Ratzi, the former Hitler Youth member, has the nerve to make a call on the Jews to organize a crusade- oops sorry- a jihad- damn, not that! a… … whatever Jewish equivalent of the above. The three religious ideologies have hated each other’s guts for centuries, and now they’re trying to find a common enemy,for what? This man (the Pope) is a potential Hitler; He is contributing to the spread of AIDS and now he is endangering the physical integrity of gays, already in danger in many Muslim countries and in Uganda, where politicians want to introduce capital punishment for homosexuals. Ratzi is the typical product of Nazi Germany’s educational system. The International Human Rights Court should warn him not to cross certain lines.

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