Pat Robertson: Goodwill Sweaters Could Have Demons

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Usually when one buys clothes second-hand at shops like Goodwill, one just wonders whether it’s been laundered properly. But Pat Robertson brought an entirely new worry to the fore on Monday’s episode of his “700 Club” program. Responding to an email sent in by a viewer, the elderly televangelist said that, while not all clothes have demonic spirits attached to them, it never hurts to take some precautionary measures.

Robertson was answering a question from viewer Carrie, who wrote:

I buy a lot of clothes and other items at Goodwill and other secondhand shops. Recently my mom told me that I need to pray over the items, bind familiar spirits and bless the items before I bring them into the house. Is my mother correct? Can demons attach themselves to material items?

Robertson answered Carrie’s question with a story about a girl who was troubled by a ring that had been prayed over by a witch. “She had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was,” Robertson said, before claiming that demonic spirits can certainly attach themselves to objects.

Now, does this mean all second-hand clothing is a vessel of the devil? Not exactly, according to Robertson, but “it ain’t going to hurt anything to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes.”


continue to source article at huffingtonpost.com

58 COMMENTS

  1. Love the picture of him shooting the horns! someone needs to make a gif that makes him headbang.

    This makes me want to donate some atheist shirts to goodwill, or even better, the salvation army.

  2. Not even The Onion could make this up. Every time Robertson opens his mouth, Poe’s Law truly is in effect.

    Next time I visit my dry cleaner, I have to ask them if they can treat my clothes with a demon repellent. Maybe they have a dry, chemical version of holy water.

  3. attach them selves to objects

    Reminds me of the guy who believed the devil could possess a computer, and wrote a book about it :/

    Possessed polyester – wicked wool – cursed cotton – I’m surprised poor Good Will hasn’t burst into flames already!

  4. i need to fire off a few concerned emails myself. clearly this man can confidently answer any question no matter how bonkers it might seem.

    for example, if i drink holy water before going to the toilet might it help my neighbours who live further down the sewage system overcome their support of gay marriage? my child was taught evolution at school then developed terrible acne. could these be connected? i saw a tree with two branches that from one angle looked a bit like a cross, since then the mole on my neck has started itching; should i upgrade my web browser?

    i’m not scared to ask these questions

  5. I usually find that blessing the woolite first and putting your wool on a 90 degree spincycle destroys the demons, though it has the unfortunate side effect of making everything shrink by 30%.
    That said my underpants need to be staked through the crotch and incinerated after a week at the bottom of the washbasket.

  6. What these religiously infected fail to connect is the absolute parallels to what they consider xtian ceremonial to Pagan witchcraft.

    I need to pray over the items, bind familiar spirits and bless the items before I bring them into the house.

    As opposed to…

    Light a white candle….(to summon and guide the spirit)…
    Burn a sage or cedar joss stick…(to cleanse the atmosphere of evil)
    Close your eyes….(to compose and and commune with the spirit)…
    Imagine your entire body filled by white divine light…(as the spirit enters)
    Say a prayer ….(to commune with the spirit and state your wish)…
    Use a clear quartz crystal…to bind the cleansed energies to the object!

    The similarities are startling and only suggests that religious ceremony is a device pillaged from the earlier pagan ceremony, and they do not even realise it!

  7. In reply to #4 by bluebird:

    Possessed polyester – wicked wool – cursed cotton – I’m surprised poor Good Will hasn’t burst into flames already!

    Well yes! It’s in the Bible so it must be the troooof !

    [http://www.11points.com/Books/11-Things-The-Bible-Bans,-But-You-Do-Anyway] (http://www.11points.com/Books/11_Things_The_Bible_Bans,_But_You_Do_Anyway)

    Polyester, or any other fabric blends. The Bible doesn’t want you to wear polyester. Not just because it looks cheap. It’s sinfully unnatural.

    Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”

    .. And don’t forget the ban on jewellery, fancy wigs, and “designer stuff”! :-

    Wearing gold. 1 Timothy 2:9 doesn’t like your gold necklace at all. Or your pearl necklace. Or any clothes you’re wearing that you didn’t get from Forever 21, Old Navy or H&M.

    “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”

  8. Re:Flapjack: “I usually find that blessing the woolite first and putting your wool on a 90 degree spincycle destroys the demons, though it has the unfortunate side effect of making everything shrink by 30%”

    Don’t you realize that the 30% loss were the Demons? Aren’t you glad it really does work to eliminate them?

  9. In reply to #10 by HellFireFuel:

    Are Mormon underpants safe to buy from Goodwill?

    Not that we have a Goodwill in Scotland – a dark land overrun by homosexuals acording to Pat

    Wouldn’t it be interesting to do what Flapjack (#7) does to eliminate Demons and see if Magic Underpants shed 30% as well?

  10. In reply to #15 by R[A]Y:

    Hi! Billy Mays here for DemonClean. It’s powered by prayer and activated by holy water. It’s Pope-approved and it’s safe on your colored fabrics.

    …and Today Only it comes with a free set of Vampire Stakes and a magazine full of silver bullets. (9mm only, terms & conditions apply….)

    No, don’t be taken in by this charlatan. Seek out a proper qualified and recognized expert in the field:

    This One

    Or, just send the clothes to the Magdalene Laundry, guaranteed to come back demon-free, as they’ll all have moved in with the management.

  11. Well, american media corporations have shown they will broadcast absolutely anything (well besides porn and that only because they’re not allowed to), if it turns a buck. Pat Robertson, at least, is unintentionally funny.

  12. Once I have visited an exhibition in the Ethnology museum where daily use artifacts from an Amazonian tribe were exhibited, objects were commonly decorated with “animals” (spirits), and in the end of the it, the words of the chief of the tribe were transcript “who knows if the spirits of the artifacts would have traveled with the artifacts?”

    How come so different cultures may have similar “non-sense”?

    • That’s an interesting question. Wouldn’t it have something to do with our knack for assigning intent to everything? Don’t we naturally have the ability to project consciousness onto anything?

      In reply to #19 by maria melo:

      Once I have visited an exhibition in the Ethnology museum where daily use artifacts from an Amazonian tribe were exhibited, objects were commonly decorated with “animals” (spirits), and in the end of the it, the words of the chief of the tribe were transcript “who knows if the spirits of the artifacts would have traveled with the artifacts?”

      How come so different cultures may have similar “non-sense”?

  13. We don’t see much of this kind of problem in the UK. Our stuff is almost all immune from possession. Nearly all of the clothes are from Marks & Spencer’s – which means they are all St Michaels …

  14. “I buy a lot of clothes and other items at Goodwill and other secondhand shops”

    What about all those clothes that come from those overseas heathen Chinee?

    The other thing is, if someone mutters some incantation over the possessed linens, how do you know that it worked? I see potential for a little income on the side here…

  15. In reply to #2 by kathol:

    Love the picture of him shooting the horns! someone needs to make a gif that makes him headbang.

    This makes me want to donate some atheist shirts to goodwill, or even better, the salvation army.

    Or the Damnation Army – don’t forget them.

  16. If I were an evil spirit that had decided to attach itself to an old second hand pair of unisex Levi’s, I’d love to hear the rebuke that would make me see the errors of my way and consent to being cast out. You’d have to be a pretty lousy demon if your main gig is possessing hand me down denim from the charity shop….

  17. I attend sessions of a “gift circle.” We give stuff to each other, just to do it. I had a pretty new sweater in good shape, never should have bought it in the first place–it never did fit me right. I washed it nicely and folded it neatly and brought it to a session. A woman took it gladly, but within minutes she began to feel her chest tighten and her skin redden. But no demons involved—it was just the hair from my fluffy cat that she was allergic to.

  18. He is clearly rooting for the longhorns. Beware!! It might be his belt talking! stay back!! The Texas Longhorns might only be who his socks are rooting for… how would we ever know the truth???

    The following is “based” on a true story…. A preacher, call him Jim Bakker, is married to a woman, call her Tammy Faye Bakker. This reporter thinks that her make up was/is possessed… Anyway…. Jim fell for a woman, dressed in goodwill clothes call her Jessica Hahn, and ended up committing perjury as well as other “sins”…

    Sorry for the digression, I have it figured out, every single pastor of every single mega church who has been found guilty of every single transgression ( I have sinned against you lord….) has. in fact, been wearing TAINTED clothes. As a mater f fact, every priest who ever molested a child has had the same clothes on!!!!

    Wow, I cant believe that I figured it out BEFORE them. Zappa continues to grow on my list of “heroes”…. He took these people on and won over and over again.

    We are popeless at this point — what will we ever do?? For a brief moment the oppressors are without a leader.

    • In reply to #32 by crookedshoes:

      We are popeless at this point — what will we ever do?? For a brief moment the oppressors are without a leader.

      Not only that, but they are deprived of “infallible pronouncements”. However will they be able to decide on anything??? (Any old goats around with spare entrails?)

  19. Locally there’s been a Goodwill Industries television advertisement that has been running for at least a year that freezes up the video somewhere near the middle and the audio just goes “clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk” for the duration. I can’t imagine that no one at the station or at GI hasn’t noticed this, so I can only conclude that it’s the work of the Debil and they are powerless to stop him.

  20. Why sweaters?

    Why not cars or motorcycles or musical instruments or furniture or hundreds of other things that people buy used?

    Or if I really wanted to spread my Evil Self around, cash. Cash would be much more efficient. Think of how many souls I could possess in just a day beginning in a single coffee shop.

    Satan, time to fire your generals.They think you will win the Ultimate Battle of Good and Evil by taking control of second-hand sweaters. Seems you’re overdue to take some time away from the posse to think things through a little.

    • In reply to #34 by susanlatimer:

      Why sweaters?

      Why not cars or motorcycles or musical instruments or furniture or hundreds of other things that people buy used?

      Or if I really wanted to spread my Evil Self around, cash. Cash would be much more efficient. Think of how many souls I could possess in just a day beginning in a single coffee shop.

      Satan, time to fire your generals.They think you will win the Ultimate Battle of Good and Evil by taking control of second-hand sweaters. Seems you’re overdue to take some time away from the posse to think things through a little.

      Yes, cash. Better hand all yours over for sanctification now. But just like the sweaters, it will shrink before you get it back.

  21. One of the users at catholicanswers.com once asked if it was possible for his computer to be possessed. I answered, in line with Catholic teaching no less, that it was possible, but that I didn’t advise sprinkling it with holy water. Another user thought that was good advise and suggested the other user use holy salt instead. :

    My fundamentalist brother refers to his computer as the Devil’s work station.

  22. i check Richard Dawkins.net during my work whenever i need a cheer up.. for eg., this article made me chuckle a bit today and I feel good about myself for the fact that there are many idiots around the world..

  23. Not only good for a laugh but this is a great opportunity for the RDFRS store to make a killing on t-shirts. Goodwill clothes, Pat Robertson and demons. There has to be a great logo and phrase that would go viral on this. Get your thinking caps on, it’s time for an atheist money-spinner.

  24. ..I think I see a business opportunity here. I could market anti-demon software to remove demons from computers, some simple graphics displayed as the demons are expunged.. could be a fortune here.

  25. In reply to #39 by Tintern:

    Not only good for a laugh but this is a great opportunity for the RDFRS store to make a killing on t-shirts. Goodwill clothes, Pat Robertson and demons. There has to be a great logo and phrase that would go viral on this. Get your thinking caps on, it’s time for an atheist money-spinner.

    http://www.bamjam.net/Canarias/Timanfaya.html – For real fire and brimstone!

    Could I suggest a Lanzarote National Park souvenir image! . . .. Alt Text

    • In reply to #41 by Alan4discussion:

      In reply to #39 by Tintern:

      Not only good for a laugh but this is a great opportunity for the RDFRS store to make a killing on t-shirts. Goodwill clothes, Pat Robertson and demons. There has to be a great logo and phrase that would go viral on this. Get your thinking caps on, it’s time for an atheist money-spinner.

      http://www.bamjam.net/Canarias/Timanfaya.html – For real fire and brimstone!

      Could I suggest a Lanzarote National Park souvenir image! . . ..

      Now that’s cool and demonic. Good one. Fond memories of Lazarotte too. Walked into a stone structure at the national park to see 50-100 chickens on a giant metal grille roasting over a lava pit. Most beautiful sight ever.

      • In reply to #49 by Tintern:

        Now that’s cool and demonic. Good one. Fond memories of Lazarotte too. Walked into a stone structure at the national park to see 50-100 chickens on a giant metal grille roasting over a lava pit. Most beautiful sight ever.

        Ah! The “El Diablo grille” and volcanic fire pit! Do you think Roberson would appreciate a trip there. http://graysworld.co.uk/curbelo.html

        I know the devilish fiery phenomena are only a shadow of the 1730 – 1736 events, but those preaching Hell-fire should at least research the subject! Do you think he would try out lying on the geothermal grill – just for the experience?

        • In reply to #50 by Alan4discussion:

          In reply to #49 by Tintern:

          Now that’s cool and demonic. Good one. Fond memories of Lazarotte too. Walked into a stone structure at the national park to see 50-100 chickens on a giant metal grille roasting over a lava pit. Most beautiful sight ever.

          Ah! The “El Diablo grille” and volcanic fire pit! Do you think Roberson would appreciate a trip there. http://graysworld.co.uk/curbelo.html

          I know the devilish fiery phenomena are only a shadow of the 1730 – 1736 events, but those preaching Hell-fire should at least research the subject! Do you think he would try out lying on the geothermal grill – just for the experience?

          No harm in asking him to try it. What could possibly go wrong, titter titter?

  26. In reply to #11 by crookedshoes:

    HELP! There is a demon in my underwear!!! A demon I tell you.

    Good taste keeps me from continuing my saga, suffice it to say “a demon I tell you”.

    Snarky jokes are welcome.

    Well, I have the ultimate demonic presence in my underpants…ya know the one? From the Garden of Eden. The evil lead-me-astray trouser snake that talks to me all the time. Telling me to do wicked things to it and others with it…bad I tell ya, REALLY bad shit. So, I’m not to blame for any infidelity, the Devil made me do it!

    I could get used to the woo woo nonsense, it get’s one out of all sorts of diff’s with the ultimate excuse.

    Penis jokes, don’t ya just luv’em?

  27. Of course inanimate objects can have daemons attached to them and sometimes just praying over them is simply NOT enough to ensure one’s safety. A friend of mine (let’s call him Mr “F”) was given a second hand ring that had been enchanted by a powerful witch. It had ruined many lives and was slowly taking over his life completely. In the end he had to take it all the way to Mount Doom and cast it back into the fiery chasm from whence it came.

  28. This is a real opportunity for the marketing industry.

    Tobacco products and implausible nutritional claims for additives in processed foods are increasingly under attack by consumer protection regulations. An alternative to conventional litigation, political intimidation, and bribery of politicians and officials might be for marketers to shift away from dodgy science and move on to outright supernatural claims.

    Such claims would be immune to consumer protection regulations due to increasing regulatory burdens targeting religious vilification and things like anti-islamophobia-ism.

    We already have many butchers now selling halal meat – effectively immune from health regulations and based on the understanding that hygiene and animal husbandry practises were more sophisticated in the olden days before science and islamophobic health inspectors.

    It makes sense that if religious claims are worth protecting by legislation then it will be at the expense of non-religious and evidence based ideas. One person’s expense is another’s revenue. So now might be a good time for the health supplement industry to indulge in sponsoring a new pope. Might even be lucrative enough to enable the church to wean itself off money laundering and pedophilia.

    There’s tremendous possibilities. Entire municipal water systems could be converted to holy tap water simply by installing priests at all major water catchment intakes and pump stations, with only a small surcharge on water rates to cover the expense. Imagine the reduction in car accidents and demonic road rage if all cars were washed in holy water. The cost benefit ratio could be so extraordinary that it might effectively be illegal not to implement.

  29. Pat Robertson and his ilk, provide the modern equivalent of the Victorian freak show for the audience of the Roman circus. Should we really be mocking someone so obviously afflicted? Oh shit, I just done it. Sorry.

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