Pope Benedict XVI in shock resignation

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Pope Benedict XVI is to resign at the end of this month after nearly eight years as the head of the Catholic Church, saying he is too old to continue at the age of 85.

The unexpected development – the first papal resignation in nearly 600 years – surprised governments, Vatican-watchers and even his closest aides.

The then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger became Pope after John Paul II’s death.

The Vatican says it expects a new Pope to be elected before Easter.

The BBC’s Alan Johnston in Rome says the news has come “out of the blue”, and that there was no speculation whatsoever about the move in recent days.

Italian Prime Minister Mario Monti is quoted as saying he was “greatly shaken by this unexpected news”.

A Vatican spokesman, Father Federico Lombardi, said that even the Pope’s closest aides did not know what he was planning to do and were left “incredulous”. He added that the decision showed “great courage” and “determination”.

Written By: BBC News
continue to source article at bbc.co.uk

111 COMMENTS

  1. It does not matter who replaces the rat-slinger it will be another case of same shit different arse-hole, of course he should not be retiring into obscurity he should be arrested for his long association with his wretched church’s condoning of child sex abuse.

  2. In reply to #3 by thebaldgit:

    It does not matter who replaces the rat-slinger it will be another case of same shit different arse-hole, of course he should not be retiring into obscurity he should be arrested for his long association with his wretched church’s condoning of child sex abuse.

    Don’t give upon the possibility

  3. As the world turns at this crazy cult called the Catholic Church. They are banking on getting a lot of free publicity while they decide on a new pope. I hope the child abuse scandals don’t fade into the background.

  4. for all his faults i at least thought he had the balls to go down with his ship. apparently not.

    looking forward to the next election, just to see the look on the face of the one they choose to sacrafice to the coming shit-storm

    i expect razi will now find some friendly country to live out his days hiding from justice

  5. Whilst the disappearance of this poisonous little criminal is something to welcome I bet my right testicle he will be replaced with a real hard faced arsehole, who will face up to the worldwide shitstorm by just declaring ‘business as usual.’

  6. I’m not sure this is good thing actually. Darth Ratzinger was making an awesome job of destroying the catlick church’s credibility with is moronic stance on condom use in Africa and his refusal to acknowledge the church’s responsibility for the child abuse. Is it possible to find someone as morally bankrupt to replace him?

  7. Ratzinger realizes the obvious, his incapability, and steps down, the first positive news from the Roman Catholic Church in quite some time. Too bad it is not for his incompetence given his track record in office.

  8. In reply to #17 by Ardiem:

    I’m not sure this is good thing actually. Darth Ratzinger was making an awesome job of destroying the catlick church’s credibility with is moronic stance on condom use in Africa and his refusal to acknowledge the church’s responsibility for the child abuse. Is it possible to find someone as morally bankrupt to replace him?

    I’m sure that if any organisation can find such a person, it’s the RCC. I, for one, am allowing myself a little happiness over this. Ding dong, the witch is dead, etc.

  9. Do we have any idea which cardinals are most likely to become the new pope? How liberal, sane etc. are they compared with Ratzinger or his recent predecessors? The Republicans went downhill in the past few years; what will become of the Catholic Church?

  10. This story is all over the UK websites as a top story with extra bits being added continuously. They’re getting quotes now from other faith heads, here’s my favorite so far:

    Mohammed Shafiq of Muslim thinktank the Ramadhan Foundation says Benedict’s papacy will be “sadly remembered” by the Muslim world for “his distortion and attack on Islam” at the beginning of his papacy. In 2006, Pope Benedict outraged Muslims when he used a quotation to the effect that the contributions made by Muhammad were “only evil and inhuman”. Shafiq writes:

    This sadly meant the hard work of his predecessor, Pope John Paul II, was tarnished and required extensive work to rebuild ties between Christianity and Islam. That is something he has tried to do over the past eight years and we do wish it could have started better than it did.

    The Catholic church now has a chance to return back to the teachings and practices of Pope John Paul II which were of inter-faith work and respect for our respective positions and I hope that once a new pope is elected we actually see our faiths come together.

    Shafiq said religion was “under attack from rampant secularism” and Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindus and those of other faiths needed to come together to defend it.

    Nice dig at the pope but don’t understand why these people don’t seem to understand that it is secularism that leaves them alone to practice their religion in peace and that it would be other religions that would seek to destroy them?

  11. Ugh, has the man no sense of tidiness and propriety? The last Papal Resignation was in 1415, so that means it’s only another two years to wait until there’s a precise 600 year gap. But nooooo, he has to resign now, which makes for an excruciatingly untidy 598 years. My OCD is twitching at the mere thought of such sacrilege.

    Selfish to a fault that Ratzinger.

  12. Father Federico Lombardi, said that even the Pope’s closest aides did not know what he was planning to do and were left “incredulous”

    Nothing new there! Since when was the grasp of any issue by Vatican groupies, other than “incredulous”!

    Now they will have to find another dogma-soaked fumble-brained geriatric to lead the sheeples in reality-denial!

  13. In reply to #11 by Anvil:

    Where can I get a job description and application form?

    Anvil.

    That’s a bloody good idea. We should have a fake resume sending party, in application for the job. Outline how much you hate women and children and why you would be such a good prospect.

    As a regional district manager for a major international farm equipment company, I regularly looked the other way when employees stole equipment, often relocating them to new districts where they continued their theft. At three separate christmas parties, I not only didn’t report acts of sexual harassment and rape by junior staffers but actually promoted the junior staffers in question….

    and so on. Just mock the shit out of them.

  14. Smoke and mirrors from beginning to end.

    Benny was damaged goods, the head honcho ‘crows’ want him gone, and he wants to be gone cos he can’t hack it to many skeletons in his belfry methinks, but probably not gone beyond the Vatican boundary!

    You know cos then nasty wasty secular courts are sniffing at his heels as it is.

    The pillock was a liability, to much Nazi stench and to little integrity.

    Besides he was not that popular with the delusional, just tolerated I would hazard. Probably the most unpopular head dimwad the papacy has seen for some time, centuries even.

    Brain the size of a rotten to the core walnut that thought is was a jolly good wheeze to integrate ID into RC dogma, got roundly disabused of that intention quite sharpish because the lowliest Vatican butler knows that ID is a crock of bollix.

    But not before he fired the Vatican astronomers ass for crossing benny in public and making a muppet of him.

    Nah those pesky kiddie fiddling shenanigans will come back and haunt them time after time, and Benny was getting his name in the frame far to often!

    They wanted this one gone beside methinks the colloquial English is….”He’s bottled it”
    To many web strands lead back him throughout the last 50 odd years, he is a major player in the cover up squad and he is tangled to securely..

    Simply because the RCC would not contemplate JP2 retiring even when he was mentally incapable of pissing and breathing at the same time let alone knowing where he was, the man was suffering severe Alzheimer’s at the very least at the end, not a whisper about him resigning from anywhere.

    A pope never resigns and not for good reason, only four others have done so the last besides Benny, was Gregory XII and he high tailed because Catholic internecine politics demanded, and that over six centuries ago so there is your precedent, something which benefits the Church and only the Church.

    it is a job for life and for Benny to waddle off now, then that indicates there is something brewing that might cause the Church mighty red and puffy faces if Benny was still there.

    He has gone cos it is extremely expedient, the RCC never do something like this without due care and attention and without benefit to themselves.

    The Fuckers are coming apart at the seams, time for popcorn and a tube of cold foam methinks!… about time to!.

    So I call RCC manipulation and expediency, and I think everyone here is very aware of the why of it!

  15. In reply to #17 by Ardiem:

    I’m not sure this is good thing actually. Darth Ratzinger was making an awesome job of destroying the catlick church’s credibility with is moronic stance on condom use in Africa and his refusal to acknowledge the church’s responsibility for the child abuse. Is it possible to find someone as morally bankrupt to replace him?

    If they want someone morally bankrupt, they’ll probably have to appoint a Catholic Archbishop

  16. elect the new supreme pontiff

    Visions of red Prada shoes dancing in their heads. Just remember how ‘The Red Shoes’ ended.

    This is the perfect time to let the catholic house of cards fall. Notice how the sun came up despite the announcement! ‘Twould be a brighter world sans RCC.

  17. Listen people….

    This is history…this is a victory for all of us speaking out. They can put their spin on this all they want…CNN just now, “an act of humility” my ass! He quit or was fired.
    The key is this, let them explain the sacred process of pope selection now…where’s god’s role in this…what color smoke will be seen now?
    This is a tipping point….it’s what we wanted…HE QUIT!!!!

    Now, we have to watch out for the coming re-branding…condoms will suddenly be blessed (and probably sold) by the church, women will become real people and allowed to become priests. But, I hope they don’t move forward, I hope they dig in and remain ignorant and continue this downward spiral.

    We all must be heard from more now…MUCH LOADER!!!! Run with this and save the abuse of future children, and I’m not just talking about their bums…I’m talking about all their minds…their loss, or rape, of reasoning.

    A GREAT DAY…KEEP SPEAKING UP…KEEP UP THE FIGHT

  18. Whilst they’re all tied up deliberating who to stick the hat on next we should send a sneaky safe cracker down into their Vatican vaults and liberate all of that lovely information locked away down there.

  19. In reply to #27 by Cartomancer:

    Well, there are Rumors, that some People in Konstanz/Germany the are already storing Firewood while awaiting the 600 Year revival of the Council of Constance beginning in 2014. ( See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_of_Constance ).

    Ugh, has the man no sense of tidiness and propriety? The last Papal Resignation was in 1415, so that means it’s only another two years to wait until there’s a precise 600 year gap. But nooooo, he has to resign now, which makes for an excruciatingly untidy 598 years. My OCD is twitching at the mere thought of such sacrilege.

    Selfish to a fault that Ratzinger.

  20. In reply to #4 by brainimpact:

    Rumor has it one day while casually browsing twitter He accidentally hit a link to richarddawkinsdotnet and got instantly converted and so He had no choice but to quit.

    Paddy Power has odds of 666/1 that Richard Dawkins will be the next pope.

  21. So the big guy must’ve been on a break when Ratzi was elected Grand Poopah of Rome because he would’ve known Ratzi would resign later on and did nothing about it.. So much for being “guided” by god!
    Darn, I had really hoped this senile old fool would hang in there a few more years and look more ridiculous with each passing day and bring his institution down with himself when he finally drew his last breath. One can only hope the next guy will be even worse and screw up even more. jcw

  22. Pope Benedict XVI in shock resignation

    For the sake of balance, I do hope the media interview astrophysicists, evolutionary biologists, cosmologists, neuroscientists, epidemiologists, anthropologists, psychologists, embryologists, and geneticists with regard to this.

  23. In reply to #3 by thebaldgit:

    It does not matter who replaces the rat-slinger it will be another case of same shit different arse-hole, of course he should not be retiring into obscurity he should be arrested for his long association with his wretched church’s condoning of child sex abuse.

    I agree. I’m indifferent to this news, because it doesn’t matter who’s sitting on the throne, in my eyes they are all the same. Switching leader doesn’t improve anything. Someone might say that a new pope might be more progressive and/or moderate in his views which might lead to better outcomes. Unfortunately, I’m not a pragmatist. I don’t care if a new pope makes decisions or statements which lead to positive outcomes, he will still use belief to discover the world and that is a poor method. The pope’s failure to use reason is what is troubling, and a new pope will be just as bad in that regard as Ratzinger.

  24. Resigning 28 Feb and the new pope won’t be elected until the middle of March. Can’t help but think of CH’s comment about that glorious time (in this case a scant two weeks) when there is no one on the planet who is infallible.

  25. The current favourite to replace Palpatine is Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana…

    A black pope, although perhaps unlikely to appeal to Northern Hemisphere Catholics, is a sensible choice, given that well over half of the world’s Catholics are now in the South, mostly in Latin America and Africa.

    Of course, African or otherwise, the message will remain the same – here are Peter Turkson’s views on contraception and HIV…

    “In 2009, he reaffirmed the Catholic social teaching on contraception, in regard to statements made by Pope Benedict XVI that condoms were not a solution to Africa’s AIDS crisis and were taken out of context by the media. Turkson did not rule out condoms in all circumstances suggesting they could be useful in the situation of a married, faithful couple where one partner is infected; although he warns that, as the quality of condoms in Africa is poor, their use could engender false confidence. He said abstinence, fidelity, and refraining from sex if infected were the key to fighting the epidemic. He also believes that the money being spent on condoms would be better spent providing anti-retroviral drugs to those already infected.”

  26. Speaking of the throne…. Look at the ostentatious display in the photo. I mean… really??? Here is an 85 year old man in a $7500 suit posed in front of a $50,000 chair holding his hands up like Rocky Balboa. Meanwhile the people starve. Hasn’t this all happened long enough?

    In reply to #50 by Aztek:

    In reply to #3 by thebaldgit:

    It does not matter who replaces the rat-slinger it will be another case of same shit different arse-hole, of course he should not be retiring into obscurity he should be arrested for his long association with his wretched church’s condoning of child sex abuse.

    I agree. I’m indifferent to this news, because it doesn’t matter who’s sitting on the throne, in my eyes they are all the same. Switching leader doesn’t improve anything. Someone might say that a new pope might be more progressive and/or moderate in his views which might lead to better outcomes. Unfortunately, I’m not a pragmatist. I don’t care if a new pope makes decisions or statements which lead to positive outcomes, he will still use belief to discover the world and that is a poor method. The pope’s failure to use reason is what is troubling, and a new pope will be just as bad in that regard as Ratzinger.

  27. BREAKING NEWS. . . . . .The SUN newspaper headline reads, “The Holy Sees In Rough Waters”. “Pope Bene tells the world, “I amz trulee zik und dizguzded at allez zat HORZMEATZ they fed me – zat haz left me viz zore feetz.”
    BREAKING DARWINIAN NEWS . . . . .The Times newspaper, “The militant atheist, Prof.Richard Dawkins has NOT invited the Pope to tommorow’s ‘Darwin Day Festivities’ and free lunch at Oxford Univ.” ;) m

  28. In reply to #40 by Brixton44:

    Listen people….This is history…this is a victory for all of us speaking out. They can put their spin on this all they want…CNN just now, “an act of humility” my ass! He quit or was fired. The key is this, let them explain the sacred process of pope selection now…where’s god’s role in this…what color smoke will be seen now? This is a tipping point….it’s what we wanted…HE QUIT!!!!Now, we have to watch out for the coming re-branding…condoms will suddenly be blessed (and probably sold) by the church, women will become real people and allowed to become priests. But, I hope they don’t move forward, I hope they dig in and remain ignorant and continue this downward spiral.We all must be heard from more now…MUCH LOADER!!!! Run with this and save the abuse of future children, and I’m not just talking about their bums…I’m talking about all their minds…their loss, or rape, of reasoning.A GREAT DAY…KEEP SPEAKING UP…KEEP UP THE FIGHT

    It is really fishy. No pope has resigned in the last 600 years, fraility, senility, old age – none of those has been barriers in the past. What on earth could come out that has prompted this? I know the Magdalen laundries thing is hitting the headlines now – but… I always got the impression he wasn’t expected to last long and was more a sort of interim till they decided what to do.

    The thing is what do they replace him with. They will definitely now have a load of people coming up through the ranks who are untouched by any of the child abuse scandals – who were too young to have been in positions of knowledge and power at the time. They put child protection measures in about 20/25 years ago? So they do have opportunities for some kind of new broom/fresh start if they choose. For the first time ever I’d guess. So will they go down that route?

    They could actually go for modernisation and try to claw back some lost ground in the US and Europe, especially their old stomping grounds like Ireland. Which would require a more proactive stance on bringing old abusers and those that ignored them to justice. Like removing Sean Brady. And would require softening their stance on homosexuality, the role of women and women priests as well as getting rid of their medieval stance on contraception.

    Or they could continue to make inroads in Africa, which will mean continuing with sexism and homophobia and continuing to issue meaningless apologies for their past, and possibly a continuation of the inane contraception rules there. Which means they probably would die out in the West where only very ancient catholics obey them and the rest seem to be able to ignore them. They will thrive in more sexist cultures, alongside holding them back.

    On one level his resignation sounds trivial but they are still a huge church, and a powerful one in the third world. So they still have an incredible hold over the lives of some of the poorest people. So it does matter in a way which way they decide to go. Some compassion, some nods towards the rights of women and some serious changes would be good things for the third world and people still fairly taken with religion.

    My money is on an African pope btw. If anyone is betting.

  29. “The German government has the highest respect for the Holy Father, for what he has done, for his contributions over the course of his life to the Catholic Church.

    What exactly, of any benefit, has he done? I will tell you. FACK ALL!

  30. Hitch was right again;

    “Mentally remove his papal vestments and imagine him in a suit, and Joseph Ratzinger becomes just a Bavarian bureaucrat who has failed in the only task he was ever set-that of damage control.” (Newsweek 5/03/10)

    “Ratzinger himself may be banal, but his whole career has the stench of evil-a clinging and systematic evil that is beyond the power of exorcism to dispell.” (Slate 3/15/10)

  31. In reply to #52 by Dr Bob:

    The current favourite to replace Palpatine is Cardinal Peter Turkson…

    As has been mentioned elsewhere…

    The Prophecy of the Popes seems to be holding its form more or less…

    Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The end.

    The fact that Peter the Roman is substituted for Peter the Ghanaian might refer to the point that after ascension to the high chair Peter affectively becomes Rome!

    Not to much of a stretch methinks!

    But what a mind fuck that would be, not the fact that the holy Roman scam becomes a busted flush but that there was a prophecy foretelling it!

  32. On April 1, the cardinals will elect Pope Pedophilius CCLXVI thereby acknowledging that the new pope is the 266th pope presiding over the 2 millennia old Worldwide Pedophile Protection Agency, the new name for the catholic church. His personal web site will be http://WPPA.Pedophilius.266

    That same day, Pedophilius CCLXV (aka Benny Hex) will be the guest on Oprah and proudly disclose how many catholic priests he has protected from civil prosecution worldwide during his career.

  33. In reply to #61 by EvidenceOnly:

    On April 1, the cardinals will elect Pope Pedophilius CCLXVI thereby acknowledging that the new pope is the 266th pope presiding over the 2 millennia old Worldwide Pedophile Protection Agency, the new name for the catholic church. His personal web site will be http://WPPA.Pedophilius.266

    I am not sure about the US, Italy, or the Vatican, but in the UK, April 1st is celebrated as “ALL FOOLS DAY”!

  34. He will probably put all his trust in science and medicine when his health is going to get really bad…

    But when it comes down to homosexuality, he still manages to reject all scientifical evidences, since he qualifies homosexuality as a “mental disorder”…

    I guess science will help him more than God this time…

  35. In the Vatican, it is All Fools Day every day!

    In reply to #62 by Alan4discussion:

    In reply to #61 by EvidenceOnly:

    On April 1, the cardinals will elect Pope Pedophilius CCLXVI thereby acknowledging that the new pope is the 266th pope presiding over the 2 millennia old Worldwide Pedophile Protection Agency, the new name for the catholic church. His personal web site will be http://WPPA.Pedophilius.266

    I am not sure about the US, Italy, or the Vatican, but in the UK, April 1st is celebrated as “ALL FOOLS DAY”!

  36. In reply to #60 by Jon Snow:

    In reply to #52 by Dr Bob:

    The current favourite to replace Palpatine is Cardinal Peter Turkson…

    As has been mentioned elsewhere…

    The Prophecy of the Popes seems to be holding its form more or less…

    Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The end.

    The fact that Peter the Roman is substituted for Peter the Ghanaian might refer to the point that after ascension to the high chair Peter affectively becomes Rome!

    Not to much of a stretch methinks!

    But what a mind fuck that would be, not the fact that the holy Roman scam becomes a busted flush but that there was a prophecy foretelling it!

    Sadly, there isn’t much hope of that happening in our lifetime.

    But one day, deep in the Vatican vaults, a lowly cleaner will find an old parchment written by Saul of Tarsus… at the bottom will be the admission… “PS I made it all up”

  37. He doesn’t want another scandal on his watch.. The magdalene laundries is doing the rounds now and maybe he had something to do with that as well.

    Now please elect a 100%, top hole, force nine tosser to replace him. One that will make the RCC look like the KKK on meths and mescal.

    Perhaps they already do………………..?

  38. In reply to #52 by Dr Bob:
    That comment, on the face of it, is almost sensible, for a RC. Funding and aid should be diverted to research into cures and treatments for the HIV virus, at least on an equal footing with the preventative aspect, ie, condoms..but if true, why in dogs name are comdoms sub standard that are being offered to African people? Theyre not exactly expensive to produce, or even to buy in a chemist in the UK, and for goodness sake we can even get the “big” brands in the UK at family planning clinics for free. Surely they can be mass produced and distributed as a very small part of our billions of pounds / dollars / euros overseas aid. Or am i being naive? And yes, we know abstinence is almost foolproof….but getting humans to remain abstinent, whatever the cirumstances is not, as has been proven time and again, in all societies, present and past.

    The current favourite to replace Palpatine is Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana…

    A black pope, although perhaps unlikely to appeal to Northern Hemisphere Catholics, is a sensible choice, given that well over half of the world’s Catholics are now in the South, mostly in Latin America and Africa.

    Of course, African or otherwise, the message will remain the same – here are Peter Turkson’s views on contraception and HIV…

    “In 2009, he reaffirmed the Catholic social teaching on contraception, in regard to statements made by Pope Benedict XVI that condoms were not a solution to Africa’s AIDS crisis and were taken out of context by the media. Turkson did not rule out condoms in all circumstances suggesting they could be useful in the situation of a married, faithful couple where one partner is infected; although he warns that, as the quality of condoms in Africa is poor, their use could engender false confidence. He said abstinence, fidelity, and refraining from sex if infected were the key to fighting the epidemic. He also believes that the money being spent on condoms would be better spent providing anti-retroviral drugs to those already infected.”

  39. Based on his attire in the picture provided, i’d have to agree with you about the white tigers.

    In reply to #63 by Sample:

    So the last absolute monarch of Europe is abdicating. He’s an accomplished pianist. Perhaps a Las Vegas tour is on the horizon? White tigers seem appropriate.

    Mike

  40. All this bollocks about interfaith co-operation between catlicks,muslims,hindus, jews and mormons ………wait….. it’s the battle of five armies ……..shit …….Thorin dies!

  41. Pope Ratzy just doesn’t want to be the one with his pointy head in the rope when the weight of Catholic crimes really starts swinging from the church’s ankles to strangle it. He’s just a Rat abandoning a sinking ship, one which should be set on fire as it goes down.

  42. Nazi-Ratzi resigns!! That’s strange, I thought the hunger for power of this man had no limits and all of a sudden he feels too old to go on. Perhaps there is a new wave of Vatican scandals on the way and the old fart is too tired to find new excuses to avert the storm. I only hope that the scandals he tried to hide away so well will never be forgotten. Unfortunately, the RCC is full of immoral bastards willing to jump into his shoes. I just don’t believe that this sinister individual is leaving office voluntarily.

  43. In reply to #74 by Sue Blue:

    Pope Ratzy just doesn’t want to be the one with his pointy head in the rope when the weight of Catholic crimes really starts swinging from the church’s ankles to strangle it. He’s just a Rat abandoning a sinking ship, one which should be set on fire as it goes down.

    I don’t think they’ll ever be held accountable for anything really. They’ve murdered everyone who’s stood against them, destroyed what ever they could get their hands on which contradicted them, and thrown their hat in with who ever can help them expand.

    The only way to take them down is to get into their vaults.

  44. In reply to #41 by Virgin Mary:

    Whilst they’re all tied up deliberating who to stick the hat on next we should send a sneaky safe cracker down into their Vatican vaults and liberate all of that lovely information locked away down there.

    You mean the porn stash? I hear it’s nothing but porn, meticulously cataloged for permutation of carnality, indexed by degree of transgression and alphabetized.

  45. As much as I hate to brag, I think that I have definitive proof of my own powers of prophecy. The following is a post I left at the old RD.net site three years ago. The details are not 100% accurate but if you exchange the word ‘death’ for ‘resignation’, I think you’ll agree I was pretty much on the mark.

    Pope ‘could cancel UK visit’ over ‘offensive’ Foreign Office memo

    Jump to comment 102 by Saganic Rites

    Conspiracy theory anyone? The Vatican, pre-2005. A small but influential group of cardinals are becoming increasingly horrified by what is happening within the church, but dare not speak out for the fear of reprisals from within, so instead they begin to formulate a plan.
    “What if” says one of them, “when John-Paul II finally gets his promotion to the side of God, we canvas strongly for his replacement to be one who can help sort this stinking mess out. “What we need is a cardinal, preferably one who has a skeleton or two in the closet, who is of advanced age. Once in place, we start to leak stories to the press little by little until legal action can no longer be avoided. The law moves in and all of those who have brought shame on the church are both removed from the Church AND prosecuted along with those who are helping to keep their crimes under wraps. With a bit of luck, if we elect a Pope who is very old then the strain of the scandal, especially if he can be accused of involvement himself, might just finish him off.
    “This way, we can then go before the public and tell them that not only have we publically cleared the Church of of abusers, but the last link to them is dead. Corruption may have crept into the heart of the Church, but that corruption is dead and buried, and the Church can go forward stronger than ever”!
    “That should work” says another, “the rank and file will be desperate to see that God has not forsaken them”.
    “Agreed” says a third cardinal, “and I’ve been hearing some unsavoury rumours about that German fellow Ratzy; he’s getting on a bit too, and he’s held in high regard by John Paul himself. I’ll do a bit of discreet digging around and see what dirt I can find”.

    Fast forward to April 2005, and as a wisp of white smoke issues from a special chimney at the Vatican, a small group of influential cardinals are quietly congratulating themselves on their foresight and effective canvassing. “Right-ho, that’s stage one accomplished” says one, “we’ve got a 79 year old pederast apologist in the hot-seat, now who do we have in the media that we can trust”…….. Monday, 26 April 2010 at 1:41 AM | #462885

    Now get on your knees and worship me, you heretics.

  46. In their convocation, the Catholic church should select Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, as the next Pope. His understanding of reality and the spiritual is ideal for the position. The Catholics would finally be awakened to balance between the spiritual and corporeal worlds. They just need to be re-educated as to where they originated and most Catholics will create their individual version of the rules to live by as they have always done. Unfortunately, Christian fundamentalism, Judaism and Islam are too rigid to accept change.

  47. In reply to #80 by Saganic Rites:

    Now get on your knees and worship me, you heretics.

    Tell you what! If you give me the name of the next pope, familial and papal, I will truly be amazed……………….. and rich.

  48. In reply to #23 by Jos Gibbons:

    Do we have any idea which cardinals are most likely to become the new pope? How liberal, sane etc. are they compared with Ratzinger or his recent predecessors? The Republicans went downhill in the past few years; what will become of the Catholic Church?

    The UK newspaper the Guardian tips these guys for the papal throne. Anyone else care to speculate?

    The next pope is likely to be just as bad as this one was so let’s hope that the damage that this one has done to the credibility of the Catholic Church continues to shake decent Catholic people out of any lingering ideas of papal infallibility and into increased independence of thought.

  49. Looks like someone beat you to it…

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/brain-flapping/2013/feb/11/pope-resigns-scientist-applies-job

    In reply to #31 by aquilacane:

    In reply to #11 by Anvil:

    Where can I get a job description and application form?

    Anvil.

    That’s a bloody good idea. We should have a fake resume sending party, in application for the job. Outline how much you hate women and children and why you would be such a good prospect.

    As a regional district manager for a major international farm equipment company, I regularly looked the other way when employees stole equipment, often relocating them to new districts where they continued their theft. At three separate christmas parties, I not only didn’t report acts of sexual harassment and rape by junior staffers but actually promoted the junior staffers in question….

    and so on. Just mock the shit out of them.

  50. In reply to #82 by AlGarnier:

    In their convocation, the Catholic church should select Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, as the next Pope. His understanding of reality and the spiritual is ideal for the position.

    And replace Middle Eastern Woo with Far Eastern Woo; a red and white costume for a red and yellow costume? Why not go all in and select Lawrence M.Krauss? Now that would be progress. Not the least of which would be a sense of humour for the first time emanating from the pulpit at St. Peters.

  51. In reply to #57 by atheistengineer:

    It is really fishy. No pope has resigned in the last 600 years, fraility, senility, old age – none of those has been barriers in the past. What on earth could come out that has prompted this?

    Well, the reason cited was a need to keep up with the fast-changing modern world.

    So… maybe his new Twitter feed got him down?

  52. Can I congratulate colleagues on RDF that no one has been corny enough to allude to the imminent self destruction of the Catholic church by referring to Ratzingers leaving the sinking ship. I`m proud of you all.

  53. There is definitely something odd here.We are not likely to be taken in by all the proclamations of bravery etc.Either the real power brokers have decided he cannot function anymore or they have bottled out of the poison teacup that they gave to the one before the Pole.The Pole himself although fit when appointed was competely gaga for the last couple of years but stayed on until he pegged it.Perhaps the whole rotten pus filled sore is about to explode under the weight of it’s own filth,lets hope so !

  54. Actually a pope that is more conservative and rabid then ratty would be perfect!
    Let the cretin worship pre-Vatican 2 mythology and scrap that abomination and introduce all the ancient aspects that made the RCC the hated magisterium it patently is today.

    Give all kiddy fiddling priests absolution and send them back into the remote villages where the media and the law cannot keep an eye on them and where the pickings will keep them happy & contented little faders’.

    Let the new pope float a few ‘innovations’ like burning heretics and atheists, not to mention homosexuals, at the stake. reintroduce the inquisition, or just bestow the ‘doctrine of the faith’ with more teeth…either / or?
    Whip women who are sexually mature… and whip girls who are not for balance!
    The better the fundamentalist hate in the pope the quicker they will be sidelined.

  55. In reply to #6 by dulcie:

    Can he be arrested now?

    Hopefully. And, as I understand it, according to QC Geoffrey Robertson it is on the cards. But I expect the RCC would be able to jack up some fairly tasty lawyers.

  56. IF The prophesy of st. Malachy * Is correct, Benny’s sucessor would be “Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The end.”
    Judging at the state of current affairs, at least part of the prophesy will be, fufilled
    (* The prophesy of the popes, puroprtedly by the Irish St. Malachy, Is a list of 112 short latin phrases or mottoes, which, puroprtedly tell of the characteristics of all the popes from 1143 till Benidict XVI’s sucessor)

  57. In reply to #97 by titania:

    IF The prophesy of st. Malachy * Is correct, Benny’s sucessor would be “Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The end.”
    Judging at the state of current affairs, at least part of the prophesy will be, fufilled
    (* The prophesy of the popes, puroprtedly by the Irish St. Malachy, Is a list of 112 short latin phrases or mottoes, which, puroprtedly tell of the characteristics of all the popes from 1143 till Benidict XVI’s sucessor)

    If the prophecy is correct, then everyone contributing to this website is in big, big trouble…

    ;-)

  58. foundation for reason and science eh. Precious little sign of any reason in the comments on this thread. The only logic that seems to be applied in anything to do with the pope is that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth,

  59. In reply to #99 by alphonsus:

    The only logic that seems to be applied in anything to do with the pope is that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth,

    Well the ex-pontiff swears by that tactic actually employed that wheeze on his Blighty jaunt in fact.

    German-born Benedict XVI compared atheism to the forces of Nazism

    Non-believers are Nazi’s apparently, even his minions like to lie their niggardly bigoted black little hearts out about Atheists being…Sub-human no less…of course a lie is not a lie if it is done in jeebus name!

  60. In reply to #101 by Jon Snow:

    In reply to #99 by alphonsus:

    The only logic that seems to be applied in anything to do with the pope is that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth,

    Well the ex-pontiff swears by that tactic actually employed that wheeze on his Blighty jaunt in fact.

    German-born Benedict XVI compared atheism to the forces of Nazism

    Non-believers are Nazi’s apparently, even his minions like to lie their niggardly bigoted black little hearts out about Atheists being…Sub-human no less…of course a lie is not a lie if it is done in jeebus name!

    Christianity is the ultimate lie, Catholicism doubly so…

  61. I don’t even know what this means. It’s as incoherent as the Christian religion.

    In reply to #99 by alphonsus:

    foundation for reason and science eh. Precious little sign of any reason in the comments on this thread. The only logic that seems to be applied in anything to do with the pope is that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth,

  62. In reply to #104 by JHJEFFERY:

    I don’t even know what this means. It’s as incoherent as the Christian religion.

    In reply to #99 by alphonsus:

    foundation for reason and science eh. Precious little sign of any reason in the comments on this thread. The only logic that seems to be applied in anything to do with the pope is that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth,

    Indeed – lots of random words, placed together in a vain attempt to make coherent sense…

    A bit like the bible, really…

  63. In reply to #99 by alphonsus:

    foundation for reason and science eh. Precious little sign of any reason in the comments on this thread.

    But we do not mean “theistic reason”, which starts with its made-up chosen conclusion, and then constructs a circular argument leading to that preconceived notion! This site deals with evidenced science, and LOGICAL reasoning! -

    Not this pseudo-science or this TRrrrooooo pseudo-reasoning!

    Pope Pius IX

    “9. Hence all faithful Christians are forbidden to defend as the legitimate conclusions of science those opinions which are known to be contrary to the doctrine of faith, particularly if they have been condemned by the Church; and furthermore they are absolutely bound to hold them to be errors which wear the deceptive appearance of truth.” (Vatican Council I)

    “10. Not only can faith and reason never be at odds with one another but they mutually support each other, for on the one hand right reason established the foundations of the faith and, illuminated by its light, develops the science of divine things; on the other hand, faith delivers reason from errors and protects it and furnishes it with knowledge of many kinds.” (Vatican Council I)

    It is logical to point out historical and more recent lies, promoted by Popes and Catholicism!

    alphonsus – The only logic that seems to be applied in anything to do with the pope is that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth,

    Don’t apologists love psychological projection!

  64. The media are certainly making a meal of this!

    “When he got to the second half of his 80s, he felt that his age was showing and that he was gradually losing the abilities he may have had and that it takes to fulfil this office properly,” he said.

    Geriatric in his upper eighties retires because, “he was gradually losing the abilities he MAY have had and that it takes to fulfil this office properly,”

    • Or which he may not have had anyway, – but given the quality of the competition, it is probable no-one noticed!

    What took him so long to finally catch on?

    You have to recognise the creativity of the media news manufacturers!

    Days and days of coverage from:- “Geriatric in his upper eighties retires due to ill health”!

  65. It is a crock of dingo bollix…he is going into hiding basically.
    Some dark corner of Vatican city well away from awkward questions about his attempts to pervert the course of justice with his edicts over the years.

  66. The 21st century is still young, but I hope he shall be the last Head of State this century who hides inside a bullet proof vehicle and believes that a covering of latex increases the possibility of viruses getting through.

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