An open Atheist gets the nod to give an invocation at the company christmas luncheon

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Discussion by: Bill III

Hi all, my name is Bill and being inspired by Rep. Juan Mendaz's invocation in congrerss, I asked if it would be possible to give one at our christmas luncheon, and to my surprise, and excitement I was. It is Friday Dec. 13th.

It goes as follows:

This is the part of the usual invocation where you are asked to bow your head, and close your eyes, but I’m not going to do that, instead, I’m going to ask to please keep your heads raised, and eyes open. I would ask instead everyone to take a couple moments to look around at the faces of these people with whom you spend so much time. Many you know well, and some maybe not as much. Now consider the person behind each of those faces, and the fact that each one has a story, their own story, that is just as important to them as your story is to you. Think about this, and the fact that we spend a third, if not more, of our working lives with these faces.

            I’m asking you to remember their story when you feel the heat of disagreement arise, or when the burden of frustration feels so overwhelming. You may not know what personal circumstances that they are dealing with just as they may not know what circumstances you may be dealing with. Something we all share is enduring personal trials and tribulations. It’s part of the human experience, of being alive.

            I’m asking each of you to take time this holiday season, regardless of how, or if you celebrate it, to find ways to be more tolerant, show more compassion, and play a better, a more positive role in each other’s stories.

            Be good to each other for goodness’ sake. This also is part of the human experience, of being alive.

            Thank You.

I'm so jazzed! I can't stop practicing. I was "called" to be an evangelist back in the eighties, now I like the term Avangelist…Can I get an amen? Hope you liked it and be encouraged to do something that might be uncomfortable.

Bill III

19 COMMENTS

  1. You may be surprised at the number of people who sigh with relief that they don’t have to pray just so they won’t stand out, at least I hope that’s how it goes for you. I personally never bothered to wonder if anyone was made uncomfortable by my clear aversion to giving a theologically based invocation at any gathering, I even gave thanks for the film career of Jeanne Tripplehorn one year, at thanksgiving, after Waterworld came out. That produced an audible note of consternation that I still delight in remembering.

  2. The general idea is good, and the general intention is excellent, though I must say it sounds a little too much like preaching- for my own taste. What are the best sites when one can find various examples of secular invocations for various events? . The most moving “invocations” ( if this is what they are) I have witnessed are Gregorian chants, collective murmuring of Buddhist bonzes, or incantations for a death in a Tamil temple or a wedding in Greek Orthodox church. As a (British) critic said : ” I don’t mind in which language an opera is sung, so long as it is a language I don’t understand”

  3. If I was giving a speech at Xmas, I would include references to the origins of the various Xmas customs – Roman Saturnalia, with its party spirit and date, assimilated into Roman Xmas celebrations. Viking Yule, – was another mid-winter festival assimilated into Xmas festivities. The Vikings introduced the association with reindeer, although they did barbecue them in the absence of turkeys!

  4. I’ve never worked at a place where any overt religious rituals were performed. It would weird me out.

    Religion is a personal thing, practiced at church or home around here. No prayers in school, no prayers at council meetings,no prayers at work.

    • In reply to #5 by canadian_right:

      I’ve never worked at a place where any overt religious rituals were performed. It would weird me out.

      Religion is a personal thing, practiced at church or home around here. No prayers in school, no prayers at council meetings,no prayers at work.

      unfortunately this is not always the case. Thankfully I’ve been saved from this since leaving high school

    • In reply to #5 by canadian_right:

      I’ve never worked at a place where any overt religious rituals were performed. It would weird me out.

      Religion is a personal thing, practiced at church or home around here. No prayers in school, no prayers at council meetings,no prayers at work.

      I’m not even sure it would be legal in my country! Any religious act performed by the company automatically implies exclusion to any other religion (and me!)

    • use the flying spaghetti monster’s “noodle prayer”:

      Our Pasta, who “Arghh” in the colander, Swallowed be thy sauce. Thy serving come, Thy strands be wrung, On forks as they are on spoons. Give us this day our garlic bread, And forgive us our starchiness, As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss, And lead us not into Kraft parmessan, But deliver us from Chef Boy-Ar-Dee, For thine are Meatballs, and the beer, and the strippers, for ever and ever. R’Amen.

      In reply to #8 by Malaidas:

      does anybody else know the politically correct version of the lords prayer… I would love to deliver this satirically at such as this.

    • or was this more what you were thinking?

      POLITICALLY CORRECT LORD’S PRAYER

      Our (mis)Concept of Patriarchal Authority, who, it can be said, inhabits the metaphysical sphere, privileged be your signifier.

      May your social structure achieve dominance.

      May the enactment of your desire be manifested throughout the physical-metaphysical dichotomy.

      Empower us this day with the means of material production,

      And refuse to enforce sanctions against our behavior which some see as subversions of a moral perspective, just as we refuse to marginalize the moral perspectives of others who have exerted their individuality.

      Don’t lead us into situation that some would (mis)understand as detrimental to the full expression of our humanness, but liberate us from the concept of “evil.”

      For yours is the hegemony, and the dominance, and perceived mystification within the entire continuum of the Western concept of linear time.

      In reply to #8 by Malaidas:

      does anybody else know the politically correct version of the lords prayer… I would love to deliver this satirically at such as this.

      • In reply to #11 by crookedshoes:

        or was this more what you were thinking?

        POLITICALLY CORRECT LORD’S PRAYER

        Our (mis)Concept of Patriarchal Authority, who, it can be said, inhabits the metaphysical sphere, privileged be your signifier.

        May your social structure achieve dominance.

        May the enactment of your desire be manifested t…

        Very close to what I originally read and perhaps even better!

        The one I remember begins:
        Dear Universal Chairperson in Outer Space…

  5. I’m sure this will be a welcome change for many. for the few superstitious bigots who do complain you could respond “what you expect holding this thing on Friday 13th?”

    I was “called” to be an evangelist back in the eighties, now I like the term Avangelist…Can I get an amen?

    Reminds me of a comment from the late Bill Hicks’ somewhat religious mother in his success as a comedian; she’d told him he would have made a great preacher and he replied “I am”

    • In reply to #9 by SaganTheCat:

      Reminds me of a comment from the late Bill Hicks’ somewhat religious mother in his success as a comedian; she’d told him he would have made a great preacher and he replied “I am”

      Unhappy post-show audience members: Hey! We’re Christians and we don’t like what you said!

      Bill Hicks: So? Forgive me.

  6. You know, you atheists put so much faith in Darwin, bitching and moaning about how stupid you think we Christians are for believing the Bible. I tell you, you fools are so very jaded, if I were to see Jesus Christ Himself at any time in my life, telling the world, “I’ve seen Jesus Christ! I have actually seen Him!” all you people would do is ask, “Where’s the proof? Don’t you own a camera, you stupid idiot?”

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