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Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed
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Anticipating success with their feature film Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, Producers Mark Mathis, Logan Craft and Walt Ruloff have already leaked a teaser trailer for the film's sequel. Their "teach the controversy" slogan seemed to work well in getting the general public to believe that Intelligent Design is a viable alternative scientific theory to Evolution, so the team has moved on to promoting other theories that they feel are being suppressed by the scientific community. Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed tells of how Sex Theory has thrived unchallenged in the ivory towers of academia, as the explanation for how new babies are created. Proponents of Stork Theory claim that "Big Sex" has been suppressing their claim that babies are delivered by storks. Furthermore, Stork Theory proponents warn of the serious moral dangers posed by teaching children that sex has a function. They point out that evil dictators such as Hitler, Stalin and Mao all believed in Sex Theory, and they may have even had sex themselves.
There is also a late-breaking new development in the controversy, a new theory called Avian Transportation Theory.
Unlike the original Stork Theory, the modern, sophisticated "Avian Transportation Theory" (ATT) merely points out that there are gaps in the orthodox Sex Theory, and that current sonogram imaging is unreliable. Moreover ATT does not specify that babies are necessarily brought by storks but by "large birds unspecified" (although many individual ATT theorists PRIVATELY believe it is a stork).
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Posted: Thursday, April 17, 2008 | PermalinkComments 1 - 50 of 253 |
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3. Comment #162871 by MPhil on April 17, 2008 at 3:57 pm
..."an ignorant fool"*grinningfromeartoear*
It's not an intrusion into his privacy, so:
It's not slander if it's true!
Other Comments by MPhil
4. Comment #162873 by sarah95 on April 17, 2008 at 3:59 pm
WOW! That's amazing! It's good to know you're a sex maniac, Richard! That just about made my day!
Who delivers the stork indeed!
I've been waiting for this ever since RD showed a bit of it at the American Atheists conference.
Wonderful job Josh, Richard, and whoever else was involved!
Other Comments by sarah95
5. Comment #162876 by kintaro_crab on April 17, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Prof. Dawkins, Sex Maniac eh, love the cool shades.hahaha, this was great.
Other Comments by kintaro_crab
6. Comment #162877 by Paula Kirby on April 17, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Fabulous! It's about time someone took the mickey out of these idiots.
Stork theory, indeed. Everyone KNOWS babies are found under gooseberry bushes.
Other Comments by Paula Kirby
7. Comment #162878 by clunkclickeverytrip on April 17, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Very good - hats off to the parodista!Other Comments by clunkclickeverytrip
8. Comment #162879 by Quine on April 17, 2008 at 4:02 pm
"But who delivers the stork?" --- YES!! Other Comments by Quine
9. Comment #162880 by Cartomancer on April 17, 2008 at 4:04 pm
But I've had sex literally several times, and never once have I had babies.
This new stork theory seems pretty convincing to me...
Other Comments by Cartomancer
10. Comment #162883 by Podaar on April 17, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Comment #162877 by Paula KirbyEveryone KNOWS babies are found under gooseberry bushes.You meant cabbage patch, yes? Please tell me Gran wasn't wrong!
Other Comments by Podaar
11. Comment #162885 by admin on April 17, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Cartomancer,I think you've just put the final nail in the Sex Theorist's coffin.
Josh
Other Comments by admin
12. Comment #162887 by sarah95 on April 17, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Now on youtube, for those of you who have trouble with Quicktime:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ThQQuHtzHM
Here's my channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/sarah95pekoe
Other Comments by sarah95
13. Comment #162888 by Paula Kirby on April 17, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Podaar: You meant cabbage patch, yes? Please tell me Gran wasn't wrong!Well, you may have been found in a cabbage patch. I was definitely found under a gooseberry bush. But that might be another thing that's different depending on which side of the Atlantic you're on.
Other Comments by Paula Kirby
14. Comment #162890 by Styrer- on April 17, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Very witty!Well done, Richard, for your contribution at the end!
More, please!
Best,
Styrer
Other Comments by Styrer-
15. Comment #162891 by Dune010 on April 17, 2008 at 4:14 pm
It's ridiculous to think that something as complicated as the eye just develops out of nowhere after people have Sex. I makes much more sense to believe that it is Brought fully formed by the Stork.And besides, I think we all know what the second law of thermodynamics does to the Sex Theory.
Other Comments by Dune010
16. Comment #162893 by Partisan on April 17, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Lmfao, what a rebuttal.I've seen statistics which clearly show countries that embrace sex THEORY have higher levels of gun crime, vandalism, witchcraft and people with evil staring eyes.
Except Scandinavia...And Western Europe....Err
(Exit, stage right)
Other Comments by Partisan
17. Comment #162895 by Quine on April 17, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Thanks, sarah95, for the youtube post. Anyone know how to help this go viral? Other Comments by Quine
18. Comment #162896 by lozzer on April 17, 2008 at 4:22 pm
These dam biologists have had a platform for fact for too long!Sexual intercourse and the development of baby within the womb leads to exploitation of the natural rain forest and capitalism!
Other Comments by lozzer
19. Comment #162899 by Jin on April 17, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Brilliant! Thanks for a teary-eyed laugh! Other Comments by Jin
20. Comment #162901 by Szymanowski on April 17, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Anyone know how to help this go viral?Sex is good at spreading viruses, even though it blatantly doesn't cause babies.
(anyway... er I guess the answer is to blog it, perhaps with the text "Expelled" in any link to it like this: YouTube - Expelled trailer XD )
Other Comments by Szymanowski
21. Comment #162902 by dd44 on April 17, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Laptop $999DSL Connection $54.99
Having this video on top of the Ted Haggard videos to rub on Creationists' faces.... priceless
Well done Richard!!!!!
Other Comments by dd44
22. Comment #162903 by Styrer- on April 17, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Comment #162895 by Quine on April 17, 2008 at 4:20 pmWell, my humble little assistance is to e-mail the youtube link to everyone in my contacts file.
Little person power!
Best,
Styrer
Other Comments by Styrer-
23. Comment #162905 by Frankus1122 on April 17, 2008 at 4:39 pm
That's not MY stork you are talking about. Other Comments by Frankus1122
24. Comment #162906 by Elli on April 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Brilliant!This is why I love this site!
Other Comments by Elli
25. Comment #162907 by Inferno on April 17, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Is there just one stork or many storks? I heard that the ancient greeks believed in many storks all delivering different types of babies. But surely one stork is more logical.
Can someone also explain how this fits in with FSM?
Other Comments by Inferno
26. Comment #162910 by Big T on April 17, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Another good laugh from this website! I needed that. Thanks, Sarah 95 for the YouTube.Other Comments by Big T
27. Comment #162911 by Quine on April 17, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Styrer-:Well, my humble little assistance is to e-mail the youtube link to everyone in my contacts file.
Little person power!
Don't forget all those school board members in Florida and Texas.
Other Comments by Quine
28. Comment #162913 by Podaar on April 17, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Inferno
I think because sex theory involves being touched by appendages and FSM has noodly ones? I forget.
Other Comments by Podaar
29. Comment #162916 by lievemebe on April 17, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Superb. Congratulations to all involved.A wonderful example for the theory of effective rebuff.
Other Comments by lievemebe
30. Comment #162917 by Styrer- on April 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Comment #162911 by Quine on April 17, 2008 at 4:48 pm'Who, me? Thank you very much!' :)
Yes, it all helps, I hope.
This clip is in any case an excellent start to what I hope is a massively embarrassing campaign for the IDiots.
Best,
Styrer
Other Comments by Styrer-
31. Comment #162918 by nlewkowitz on April 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm
ATT just wants equal time...why can't you 'Big Sex' people just let us teach the controversy and let the children decide?The multi-quote clip of Dawkins is hilarious!
Other Comments by nlewkowitz
32. Comment #162919 by El Dubious Mung on April 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Someone please make a .gif of Richard saying he's a sex maniac. That was absolutely fabulous.Other Comments by El Dubious Mung
33. Comment #162921 by noodly_noodleson on April 17, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Kudos to these brave men for exposing the Big Sex zygotists their dangerous propaganda!Did you know that Sex Theory has caused some of the greatests atrocities of modern times? It was Hitler's belief in Sex Theory that led directly to the Nazi eugenics program.
Not to mention the fact that belief in Sex leads to unnatural and sinful fascination with men's and women's icky parts.
This film is good news, people!
Finally, alternative opinions will no longer be excluded from public debate just because they are wrong.
Other Comments by noodly_noodleson
34. Comment #162922 by Quine on April 17, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Yes, Styrer-, you and everyone else. There is a great opportunity in the next 12 to 18 hours before the US release to massively stuff email boxes with the youtube link. Some work is involved, but what a net stunt it would be.[Edit: If you search for the Expelled reviews in the on-line press you will find many have comment sections where you can post this youtube link, as well as at anything on youtube linked to Expelled.]
Other Comments by Quine
35. Comment #162923 by October Mermaid on April 17, 2008 at 5:06 pm
As a.. sex.. MANIAC! I ap-proof.. of this.. video! Other Comments by October Mermaid
36. Comment #162925 by October Mermaid on April 17, 2008 at 5:08 pm
have you guys seen the stuff that PZ "gentleman" has said about this issue on his site? I don't know what pharyngula is, but I'm assuming it's some kind of attack on honest, hard-working storkists.
Probably some kind of tentacle.
Other Comments by October Mermaid
37. Comment #162926 by Frankus1122 on April 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm
InfernoIs there just one stork or many storks?
This is a tough one. There is only one stork, indivisible.
But, there are three storks in that one.
Other Comments by Frankus1122
38. Comment #162927 by exquisitetruth on April 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm
You know, my mother first told me about this stork theory when I was a small boy. Given that she loves me very much, and was obviously involved with my arrival into the world, I see no reason to doubt her account of the events.The bottom line is, I was raised to believe in the stork, and none of your "science" mumbo-jumbo is going destroy my relationship with the almighty stork.
Other Comments by exquisitetruth
39. Comment #162928 by gyokusai on April 17, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Thank you Josh, Richard! Not only for this brilliant and funny clip, but also for the accompanying blurb (and especially the bit with the "ATT" theory)!
^_^J.
Other Comments by gyokusai
40. Comment #162929 by will young on April 17, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I nearly died with laughter because of this shot.
Y'all are the best !!
Other Comments by will young
41. Comment #162932 by Partisan on April 17, 2008 at 5:17 pm
www.answersinornithology.orgKnow the Astorkist's arugments and how to counter them ^^
Other Comments by Partisan
42. Comment #162933 by Scandinavian07 on April 17, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Don't underestimate the audience of "expelled". Was it not the Kinsey report that documented that a shocking amount of grown ups believed that children could be born without sexual intercourse? Well, it was the 50's.. but still..Scandinavian07
Other Comments by Scandinavian07
43. Comment #162934 by Wosret on April 17, 2008 at 5:23 pm
That made my day. Other Comments by Wosret
44. Comment #162937 by info_dump on April 17, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Sweet. New avatar! Other Comments by info_dump
45. Comment #162938 by Teratornis on April 17, 2008 at 5:24 pm
How appalling to see an astorkist like Dawkins who has never so much as taken one college-level course in storkeology having the temerity to question the centuries of serious scholarship by leading storkeologians! Other Comments by Teratornis
46. Comment #162941 by SPS on April 17, 2008 at 5:31 pm
This just in...Sex Theory is full of gaps. Claims to be followed by official probe.
Other Comments by SPS
47. Comment #162942 by Zaphod on April 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Expelled is a parody of itself but this video is still great fun. Other Comments by Zaphod
48. Comment #162943 by Teratornis on April 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I might mention that teratorns are extinct relatives of modern storks. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_World_vulture
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciconiiformes
Other Comments by Teratornis
49. Comment #162944 by Stephen Maxwell on April 17, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Is Richard the new singer in U2 or something? :DOther Comments by Stephen Maxwell
50. Comment #162945 by mandrellian on April 17, 2008 at 5:39 pm
That is too funny, even without the vid :D Can't wait to hit the vid when I get home.Perhaps you should've waited until Monday to post this, I always need a laugh this good on Mondays :)
Other Comments by mandrellian
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1. Comment #162867 by MPhil on April 17, 2008 at 3:53 pm
... I needed that laugh, thanks!
Other Comments by MPhil