1. Comment #16996 by Will in Aus on January 10, 2007 at 3:09 am

.......... Weird. I'm not sure of the point of this post. Looks like a silly book to be quite honest.

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2. Comment #16998 by Chris Davis on January 10, 2007 at 3:17 am

@Will in Aus
This is the Official Richard Dawkins website. When a book comes out with the early school reports of the great and good, and it includes RD's, posting it here as light relief is entirely appropriate. Thanks, Josh.

Books like this are amusing, especially when you see world-changing people being marked down or criticised for trifles when young. If nothing else, it may give comfort to those who have suffered similar faint praise or damnation, and gone on to become rather nice, competent people anyway.

CD

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3. Comment #16999 by DoogieTalons on January 10, 2007 at 3:25 am

I find this funny. Many great thinkers have not been so good at school and have even been wrongly diagnosed with ADD due to a theory that their brains are working differently or so far ahead that basic schooling becomes an unfulfilling bore very quickly. This is taken by teachers as sloppyness.

Didn't the wee lad do good though.

DT

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4. Comment #17000 by BathTub on January 10, 2007 at 3:30 am

Haha, he sounds like he was a bit of a Squid!

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5. Comment #17001 by MartinSGill on January 10, 2007 at 3:40 am

Reads a bit like my school report... there's hope for me yet.

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6. Comment #17003 by Macho Nachos on January 10, 2007 at 4:09 am

I never knew that teachers have ever, ever put "He must learn that ink is for writing, not washing" onto a child's report card.

I'm sure the parents would have been delighted to be informed of this instead of their child's academic progress.

I wonder if they've been able to get a hold of GWB's reports...

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7. Comment #17004 by mummymonkey on January 10, 2007 at 4:09 am

Why would anyone want to wash porpoises in ink?

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8. Comment #17005 by Macho Nachos on January 10, 2007 at 4:10 am

Ha. That was funnier than the report cards. Nice work, mummymonkey.

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9. Comment #17007 by Luthien on January 10, 2007 at 4:22 am

I always got slated in school reports for my handwriting, and told I was lazy etc. because of it. Thank Evolution for the humans who came up with computers, keyboards, and spellcheckers!

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10. Comment #17014 by Kimpatsu on January 10, 2007 at 4:58 am

Inky-dinky-parley-doo
Oh, what is young Dawkins to do?
He's so messy with ink
His grades, they do sink
And his writing's a bad witches' brew!
:D

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11. Comment #17016 by plastictowel on January 10, 2007 at 5:00 am

Is this his real report card?
If so latin and french at age 8...Impressive!

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12. Comment #17020 by brianeyre on January 10, 2007 at 5:54 am

Clearly the report-card of an antichrist-to-be..!

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13. Comment #17028 by alfonso on January 10, 2007 at 7:27 am

I always thought that those reports not truly indicated if students were good at anything in particular but at fitting in the system.

I'd expect truly great thinkers like Richard Dawkins to have difficulties at that :)

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14. Comment #17030 by Pilot22A on January 10, 2007 at 7:59 am

My mother, before she died, gave me all of my report cards from grade 1 through 12. It was wonderful to read the comments by teachers, and they parallel almost exactly Dawkins grade reports.

This just makes me appreciate Dawkins even more, that he can be human just like the rest of us, and is not ashamed of or hiding the fact.

And critics say he is all ego, I think not.

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15. Comment #17033 by poppythinks on January 10, 2007 at 8:48 am

this book looks like real rubbish, if you want a seriously good laugh take a look at the Buggs
comments on ID.....(home page, this site)
i mean seriously, would you even bother to buy
a 'book' that looks like it's cobbled together
by people who just want to discredit other people
who were more famous than them. there's a lot of
sour grapes going down nowadays...
'school reports' can also be written by people with 'beliefs' and perhaps RD has been chosen
to be humiliated by someone who doesn't like his views........not my idea of fun, anyway...

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16. Comment #17040 by Richard Dawkins on January 10, 2007 at 10:28 am

It is very kind of Poppythinks to come to my defence, thank you (Comment #17033). But I promise you I don't mind being described as an inky little boy, because I really was one and it was quite a long time ago. These school reports are not made up, they are absolutely genuine.

Richard

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17. Comment #17041 by ddovala on January 10, 2007 at 10:51 am

Looks like they missed a few of his books on that heading...

An inky little boy... hillarious :-)

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18. Comment #17049 by Vadjong on January 10, 2007 at 12:36 pm

Well, a fair lake of ink is still being spilt by and over our Richard, so not much has changed, then.

Inky, Dinky, Dawkinky. Na nana na naaa !

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19. Comment #17051 by Andrew Charles on January 10, 2007 at 12:52 pm

Richard Dawkins was at school in Rhodesia? I never knew that. He must go back there now and see what it has become. At least he was there when there were still schools around.

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20. Comment #17058 by Lionel A on January 10, 2007 at 2:03 pm

If Catherine Hurley (any relation of Liz I wonder) intended the inclusion of Richard's early school report as a put-down then her plan has clearly misfired. Richard being the honest and reasonable fellow he is has countered any such intention to cast aspersions admirably, countering many a charge of arrogance which readers of his books know only too well are totally unfounded.

Richard has also assured us of the authenticity of these reports. For that thank you.

As for, 'slow, very slow, and stop' and 'a wonderful facility in escaping work' if only the authors of these reports could have known how that small boy progressed.

As for Rhodesia, I wonder if Richard's time in that now blighted country was linked to the inclusion of the Forward to that excellent book 'The Lion Children' in his, also excellent, book 'A Devil's Chaplain'.

My wife, who spent some years in South African before I met her, thought that the now Zimbabwe was a beautiful country. Now there's a country that could have done with some external intervention, but of course there is no oil there.

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21. Comment #17059 by Zelgadis on January 10, 2007 at 2:05 pm

At first I felt it was a cheap attempt to make fun of famous people, but after, I couldn't help smiling at the thought of a tiny Richard Dawkins getting a little carried away with his pen.

I'll give the author the benefit of the doubt and believe it wasn't her intention to mock, but to show that we're all human and even the great are not immune to small faults like that.

Maybe when my kid is scolded for colouring a sheep purple "because purple is a better colour" or gazing at a butterfly or the trees outside instead of paying attention in class, I'll think about that boy who became a renowned scientist, inkyness and all. n_n

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22. Comment #17064 by Bookman on January 10, 2007 at 2:49 pm

I'm glad that Professor Dawkins remained inky in adulthood. He is certainly getting lots of ink these days, and I'm loving it!

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23. Comment #17066 by macronencer on January 10, 2007 at 2:58 pm

This gave me a laugh! I've still got a lot of my old reports. I wonder whether Richard's "slow, very slow and stop" repertoire was due to constant inquisitive inspection of the world? I expect he was wondering how moss grew in the school brickwork or something :)

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24. Comment #17070 by hmsbeagle3 on January 10, 2007 at 3:24 pm

Coming from a boarding school matron at that time, I would think 'slow, very slow and stop'- were high praise indeed.

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25. Comment #17085 by He-man Daunted World on January 10, 2007 at 4:44 pm

Aren't documents like this supposed to be confidential?

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26. Comment #17097 by Jack Rawlinson on January 10, 2007 at 6:50 pm

I think this is not only a bit of fun, it's actually encouraging for kids who are getting bad reports. This book lets us point to famous and successful people who also had bad reports at school.

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27. Comment #17105 by melisande on January 10, 2007 at 10:35 pm

No wonder RD was so into computers when they were first becoming popular. He says they're great for conducting experiments like the games in Nice Guys Finish First, but now I think the real reason -less ink- has surfaced....
;^)

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28. Comment #17114 by LDmiller on January 11, 2007 at 12:32 am

I happen to be the same age as Professor Dawkins.

I don't know how it was in Rhodesia or England, but in the US every student's desk was fitted with an ink well.

The pens we used were black enameled handles fitted with what could be best described as a metal goose quill tip. There were no ball-point pens (called, I believe, a "Byro" in England). Producing a smudge-free penned paper was a non-trivial achievement.

I suppose such pens are still available in artists' supplies stores. Haven't seen one in a variety store for many years. I expect that they are still used by artists and calligraphers...

As to learning French and Latin, 7 or 8 is a great age for it. Children that age soak it up like a sponge. Same for studying a musical insrument. It is ridiculous to wait until age 15 or more to start studying a foreign language-- it's much harder.

Of course, the fact that learning by rote is so each for children that age bears out Professor Dawkins' concern about feeding religious phantasy to children this age. The Jesuits well knew what they were saying when they said, "Give me the child up till age 5 and I will answer for its religion".

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29. Comment #17122 by JimC on January 11, 2007 at 2:36 am

Teachers these days have to be so politically correct and humourless in our report writing that there will be little to smile about in todays report on future interesting human beings.

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30. Comment #17133 by Ian on January 11, 2007 at 4:18 am

Thanks professor, for clearing up the confusion. Like Will in Aus, I couldn't see the point of this if it were a spoof.

Just so you don't feel picked on, here is the report from my French teacher, from when I was about twelve:

"Ian's work has been less good recently, his writing is still poor, and he takes a long time to organize himself and start work in class."

"However, when he is present regularlarly(sic :-) he keeps pace with the class quite well."

"His exam mark is reasonably good, but I expect him to do better." 43%

My French never did get any better.

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31. Comment #17182 by rodart on January 11, 2007 at 2:12 pm

What realy caught my attention was:
Dawkins has only three speeds: slow, very slow and stop.

As a child, observing nature for example, this is the way to go!

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32. Comment #17192 by DavidJMH on January 11, 2007 at 4:00 pm

Zero
Improvement
Mainly
Because
All
Bloody
Whites
Emigrated

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