New Bus Campaign
By RICHARD DAWKINS
Added: Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:00:00 UTC

What is this that frighteneth us?
Can it be an atheist bus?
Yes, the dreaded âProbably
There is no Godâ, so stridently
Cuts through our calm like plunging knife –
And asks us to enjoy our life!
âEnjoy your lifeâ? The dreadful scene
Disturbs the Reverend Stephen Green.
No chance that heâll âStop worryingâ.
Instead we see him hurrying
To file his silly little plea
With the official Agency
That keeps the Standards gently rising
Of all our British Advertising.
âProbably? You cannot prove it.
So therefore you must now remove it.â
As agreed with Ariane
(Whose buses, red and partisan
Drive with insolent abandon
All around the streets of London)
And with her fellow rationalists
Among the British Humanists,
In April thereâs a second wave
Of buses from the pounds I gave
Together with the gifts I matched
And also the small fraction snatched
Back from the Inland Revenue –
Thatâs all the Gift Aid that is due.
So now we need some good ideas
To feed the faith-headsâ darkest fears.
A slogan bright, for all of us –
Atheistes omnibus. [1]
Weâve already had some nice suggestions for the slogan for the second wave of buses in April. I said that my own preference was for âNo More Faith Schoolsâ, probably following something along the lines of the familiar (perhaps too familiar to our regulars, but not to the citizens of London) âThereâs no such thing as a . . . childâ, perhaps including the joking reference to âMarxist childâ or âPostmodernist childâ. Somebody suggested a long list of ex-Gods (Mithras, Zeus, Horus, Wotan etc), all crossed out, with Yahweh and Allah crossed out. I like that suggestion too. There are some other good suggestions that people here have made. Like âReligions: They canât all be right. They can all be wrongâ. Does anybody know the origin of âReligion: For consenting adults in private.â I wonder whether people might send in all their suggestions, to form an orderly list on this page, so that we can survey a gathered field and make a choice.
Many thanks
Thank you
Richard
[1] With acknowledgments to A D Godley (1856-1925):
What is this that roareth thus?
Can it be a Motor Bus?
Yes, the smell and hideous hum
Indicat Motorem Bum!
Implet in the Corn and High
Terror me Motoris Bi:
Bo Motori clamitabo
Ne Motore caedar a Bo –
Dative be or Ablative
So thou only let us live:
Whither shall thy victims flee?
Spare us, spare us, Motor Be!
Thus I sang; and still anigh
Came in hordes Motores Bi,
Et complebat omne forum
Copia Motorum Borum.
How shall wretches live like us
Cincti Bis Motoribus?
Domine, defende nos
Contra hos Motores Bos!
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