1. Comment #434401 by cornbread_r2 on November 24, 2009 at 4:35 am

Oh the irony...

The original Olympics were allegedly terminated by Theodosius (the Roman emperor who made Christianity the official religion of the empire) because of their Pagan underpinnings.

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2. Comment #434415 by jonjermey on November 24, 2009 at 6:34 am

Where can I get a dogtag that says: "In the event of a Billy Graham Rapid Response Team, do not resuscitate?"

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3. Comment #434417 by megacephalanthropus on November 24, 2009 at 6:44 am

"We see ourselves as vessels that God can use, whether that's verbal or just in the ministry of presence … just being there and being available."

Because an omnipotent god can't do it all himself!

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4. Comment #434422 by weavehole on November 24, 2009 at 7:08 am

Reminds me of how Paul Terris MP and Phillip Skane MP tried to help in the Corinth earthquake disaster in the early 90s.

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5. Comment #434433 by DeusExNihilum on November 24, 2009 at 8:46 am

Rapid response chaplains? WTF do they do? Rush to the nearest natural disaster, stand on the nearest destroyed building and proclaim how clearly they've angered the great sky God? Or perhaps they distract them from the carnage by confusing people as much as possible by telling them "Sorry about your country, God love you though"?

'Definitely not proselytizing,' organizer says

but then sneakily whispers whilst no one is looking 'love Jesus!'

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6. Comment #434439 by Nunbeliever on November 24, 2009 at 8:58 am

#3 Yeah, I was about to say the same...

The volunteers have undergone a training regimen called His Presence in Crisis, to help others deal with everything from accidents to fights to stressed-out spectators, she said.

If HE (you know, gray old beardy) was present, then surely there would be no accidents, would there?

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7. Comment #434446 by Tyler Durden on November 24, 2009 at 9:49 am

1. Comment #434401 by cornbread_r2

The original Olympics were allegedly terminated by Theodosius (the Roman emperor who made Christianity the official religion of the empire) because of their Pagan underpinnings.

Emperor Constantine I made Christianity the official religion of the empire.

"More significantly, in 325 he summoned the First Council of Nicaea, effectively the first Ecumenical Council"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_I

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_I_and_Christianity

"Theodosius promoted Nicene Trinitarianism within Christianity and Christianity within the Empire. On 27 February 380, he declared "Catholic Christianity" the only legitimate imperial religion, ending state support for the traditional Roman religion."

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8. Comment #434448 by rod-the-farmer on November 24, 2009 at 10:05 am

These guys better not get free tickets to the events.....

....followers of the U.S. evangelist aim to provide support to people in crisis.....

....to help others deal with everything from accidents to fights to stressed-out spectators

Ahh, would this include medical assistance ? Not sure about local rules in this regard. Do they have to be licensed ?

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9. Comment #434449 by DoctorE on November 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

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10. Comment #434453 by epeeist on November 24, 2009 at 10:40 am

Comment #434448 by rod-the-farmer

Ahh, would this include medical assistance ? Not sure about local rules in this regard. Do they have to be licensed ?

Cue the old joke about the blond with a significant décolletage fainting in a theatre. When someone shouted "Is there a doctor in the house?" the medic, Ph.D. physicist and doctor of laws were all beaten to it by the doctor of divinity.

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11. Comment #434466 by MarkOnTheRiver on November 24, 2009 at 12:10 pm

I hope these sanctimonious chaplains have the decency to operate in uniform. All freshly scrubbed piety, and bibles firmly clasped in the approved hand. At least then the over excited, or tired and emotional spectators can take the necessary steps to avoid them.

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12. Comment #434468 by Logicel on November 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Lol, epeeist!

Their description of what their focus will be at the Olympics is so vague. Therefore, we can't have any idea what they will be doing at the Olympics. Why do they expect a crisis at the Olympics? Usually, Olympics are fairly without trouble. And if there are problems to be solved, how professional is their training to cope with them? And why is the professional structure already in place not enough? Christians are just plain weird.

Olympics are pretty organized, they are not like the Woodstock Music Festival (where lots of hippie volunteers peopled hastily constructed booths to direct people--often strung out--to assistance, give out food, etc.)

And their frequently insisting that they are not focused on active conversion, makes me think they protest too much.

And if they do assist the already in place structure to ensure that such a large gathering goes smoothly, then maybe they should get jobs in that field? Any success only proves that these individuals are good at coping with crowds, not that god exists or Christians are any better than anyone else.

EDIT: I remember about 20 years ago, while we were driving across America, stopping at some shabby and gloomy public highway rest stop (why are the ones in America so bad? I could live at the ones in France!). Christian volunteers were handing out coffee and donuts. No one mentioned their religion other than some pamphlets that remained on the tables (no one was actively handing them out). The volunteers were mostly young women who looked very kind, but tired, drained, and a bit overwhelmed. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth, thinking that Christians have an odd sense of reality. They were not particularly friendly or helpful. Instead, they were just these ghostly figures hovering about in the back-lit darkness giving out free hot coffee (which I did not take, I bought mine inside.)

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13. Comment #434477 by Sandra S on November 24, 2009 at 12:54 pm

... Rapid response chaplains?

That's it, I'm claiming Poe's law.

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14. Comment #434485 by Noodly on November 24, 2009 at 1:57 pm

You have to laugh at the idea of an evangelical rapid response team.

"Don't panic folks, we're here with our 2000 year old middle eastern tribal anecdotes to help you out".

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15. Comment #434496 by aquilacane on November 24, 2009 at 2:38 pm

We have police for fights. I can tell you if I were in a fight and a bunch of christers came up to stop it, they would probably get their asses kicked and me and the guy fighting would go for a beer after.

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16. Comment #434497 by Roger Stanyard on November 24, 2009 at 2:45 pm

One wonders just what these "rapid response" teams will look like. Presumably they will be driving round in vans marked "Holy Joe's 24-hour Do-gooder Service".

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17. Comment #434506 by Anvil on November 24, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Canadian Rapid Response Chaplains: A national shame.

Is nothing sacred? This article sent shivers down my spine.

I’m not too sure how all this leaked to the Canadian press as here in the UK members of the Church of England ‘Special Alms Service’ are not allowed to mention the very existence of the SAS, let alone operational procedure? They have, and adhere to, a vow of silence. Their motto ‘Who Cares Wins’ is often found tattooed on the forearms and lower backs of British (and foreign) Nuns, and their exploits in Panama (Carols outside the presidential palace are widely regarded as having brought Noriega to his knees), and Bosnia (their Halo insertion supplying tea, biscuits, and unalmed combat training quickly focusing an indecisive Nato) have been consistently denied by the Synod – though celebrated , albeit belatedly, in the Hollywood blockbusters ‘Young Nuns I’, and ‘Young Nuns II. Their trademark stealth cassocks and balaclavas have been openly copied by ministries the world over – most openly in Nigeria where the application of their strategy of ‘Burn the Sinner – Not the Soul’ now has witchcraft in serious retreat.

On the day when the British government opens its inquiry into the Iraq War it is a sad statement of affairs and an indictment of Political Correctness that has seen veterans of this once fine fighting force transfer to the catholic ‘Angels Squadron’ or the Vatican’s own ‘Holy Seals’ rather than put their lives at risk remaining in an SAS that now openly recruits members of the weaker sex and actively gay men. I know who I’d rather have behind me when my comms’ crackles into life with the words “Danger Close!”

With the London Olympics on the horizon let us hope we learn from the Canadian ‘speakers of loose tongues’ and enjoy a games safe in the knowledge that our boys are there, all around us, looking after our souls, even though we can’t see them.

After all, if we can't have faith in our Almed Forces, who can we have faith in!

Now, Nanny says I must tidy my room.

Anvil.


Edit: weRds & SpelinG.

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18. Comment #434512 by RonnieM on November 24, 2009 at 3:13 pm

I can’t wait to see the look on the face of a Muslim, when that person finds out they've just been theocratically revived by an over- earnest Christian rapid response team.

I think the medical phrase that comes to mind is “Stand Clear!”

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19. Comment #434551 by Sally Luxmoore on November 24, 2009 at 5:18 pm

This gives me a serious case of the creeps.

Whereas our Pastafarian outreach team, dispensing noodly goodness to all comers will be friendly, delicious, and well-sauced.

No-one in need of complex carbohydrates will remain in need. No worship will be expected or required, though appreciation in the form of slurping is acceptable.

Some pirate clothing may be in evidence.

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20. Comment #434563 by Prankster on November 24, 2009 at 5:39 pm

No official Olympic connection, no IOC backing as far as I can tell so why are they there-why?

My favourite line was "on the ground, ready to deploy"-what for FFS? What are they expecting? And what do they intend to deploy? WMI'S (Weapons of Mass Indoctrination)? Pamphlets, bibbles?

People and organisations like these idiots can't leave well enough alone can they-always sticking their oars in. The mind boggles....

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21. Comment #434592 by zengardener on November 24, 2009 at 6:50 pm

These are probably harless do-gooders. Nice people.

If Billy Graham really wanted to help, he would send trained paramedics.

This is another example of the waste inherant in religious "charity".

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22. Comment #434597 by severalspeciesof on November 24, 2009 at 6:56 pm

"We just want to be on the ground, ready to deploy, should something happen," Neufeld said."

Do they know something that others don't know?...

Are they expecting, reason forbid, a terrorist attack?...

It's just such an odd thing to say...

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23. Comment #434616 by EvolvedDNA on November 24, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Hey.. when you think of it, it is a good match.. both the Olympics and religion have never produced a profit...even if they have different spelling.

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24. Comment #434627 by stptrck75 on November 24, 2009 at 8:39 pm

#23: Religion rakes in crazy profits if you know how to work it. Look at the Mormons and their temples, Jim and Tammy Baker (and their ilk), Scientology (self-explanatory), etc, etc....

It's the old, "Give us your money or you will burn in hell" scam. Works like a charm!

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25. Comment #434638 by DavidSJA on November 24, 2009 at 9:29 pm

#2 - How about "in the event of Billy Graham Rapid Response Teams, please put me out of my misery"?

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26. Comment #434639 by EvolvedDNA on November 24, 2009 at 9:40 pm

#24 by stptrck75

Oh, I agree with you 100%.. no question..I was trying to be cute.. drawing a parallel between "profit" and "prophet" in that "no religion has ever produced the prophets they talk about".

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27. Comment #434707 by cornbread_r2 on November 25, 2009 at 12:38 am

Tyler Durden:

In the articles you referenced I see where Constantine I ended persecution of Christians; promoted religious toleration of all religions via the Edict of Milan; and convened the Nicean Council. Nowhere, however, do I see him credited with establishing Christianity, in any of its forms, as "the official state religion".

In an article on Theodosius I, however, I find the following:

"He is also known for making Nicene Christianity the official state religion of the Roman Empire." [1]

In addition, while Constantine I and his immediate successors seem to have more or less tolerated the practice of Paganism in the empire, Theodosius I would eventually promulgate the following edict, among many other suppressive measures, which seems to outlaw the practice of any religion other than Christianity.

"This edict is sometimes referred to as 'Cunctos Populos'. 'Everyone in the empire shall be part of the religion that believes in God as a single Deity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit – the Holy Trinity, as taught by St. Peter to the Romans, and now taught by Damasus of Rome and Peter of Alexandria. Only those following this rule shall be called ” catholic Christians.”
Meeting places of those who follow another religion (including heretics of a Christian variety) shall not be given the status of churches, and such people may be subject to both divine and earthly retribution.'" [2]

I do not deny that Constantine I did much to promote Christianity within the empire, but from my reading so far I would still have to credit Theodosius I., in both his official edicts and active suppression of competing religions, with establishing it as the official and default religion of the Roman Empire.

I'll continue to research this point however as time allows.

Aloha



1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodosius_I

2: http://www.fourthcentury.com/index.php/imperial-laws-chart-364

(Apologies to all for the derailment.)

(Edited for apology and spelling)

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28. Comment #434726 by Crazycharlie on November 25, 2009 at 1:40 am

They just want to be there, "on the ground, ready to deploy, should something happen..."

Yeah, like vultures waiting for someone to die or be killed.

What's going to happen? A natural disaster or terrorist attack?

They'll be there though.... You wonder if they're hoping for something to happen.

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29. Comment #434734 by Crazycharlie on November 25, 2009 at 2:06 am

This is the morbid aspect of Religion showing through.

Where there's chaos, poverty, death, there's also Religion,. feeding on fear, and then providing consolation,..( and maybe collecting a little cash for the church coffers).

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30. Comment #434749 by Pobjoy on November 25, 2009 at 3:18 am

In response to a couple of the questions people have asked:

Yes there are professionals to deal with any incidents should they occur (Integrated Public Safety Unit, Integrated Security Unit - mostly RCMP, BC Ambulance Service, the Provincial Emergency Program).

Access to venues is tightly controlled and my understanding is that the people providing services, such as first aid, are Olympic volunteers and therefore would not be directly representing any particular organization.

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31. Comment #434755 by Rodger T on November 25, 2009 at 5:11 am

Billy Graham's rapid response chaplains

I`m assuming they attend to athletes that fail to make the grade and are questioning why their god did`nt answer their prayers?

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32. Comment #434898 by Old Coyote on November 25, 2009 at 2:55 pm

This being Vancouver and Whistler these Jesus-Pushers will no doubt be met by greater numbers of "Weed Dealing Rapid Response Teams".

Go Team Canada!

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33. Comment #435618 by Kiwi on November 26, 2009 at 11:37 pm

Make way ! Make way ! I'm theologically trained !

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