1. China finds major dinosaur site

Comment #313579 by TIKI AL on January 6, 2009 at 10:58 am

I hope our Chinese friends keep the Xtians away from the dig. They have been known to plant dino spurs and saddles.

2. Ancient African Exodus Mostly Involved Men, Geneticists Find

Comment #313574 by TIKI AL on January 6, 2009 at 10:45 am

Goldy @ 36: "Just a wee plea - is it OK to make a light hearted comment once a week' As long as I promise to be more serious the rest of the time...?" ...After 8 years of devestation by Bush, the LAST thing we need is humour.

Pertaining to the subject, have you seen the documentary, "Trannys Out Of Africa; The Determined Road From Sarengeti To Bourbon Street"?

3. Ancient African Exodus Mostly Involved Men, Geneticists Find

Comment #312724 by TIKI AL on January 5, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Thanks, Richard. I will try to be more serious in the new year.

4. Vatican divorces from Italian law

Comment #311002 by TIKI AL on January 2, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Vatican 2009 Laws:
1. Choirboys are fair game.
2. Everything must be spoken in Latin to confuse the masses.
3. Choirboys are fair game.

5. What Will Change Everything?

Comment #310851 by TIKI AL on January 2, 2009 at 9:02 am

Some real life cast members of "Deliverance" HAVE actually voted against "the pill" and cloning.

Ain't Hannity's Murika grand?

6. Atheists Sue to Get Prayer, God Out of Obama's Swearing-In

Comment #310847 by TIKI AL on January 2, 2009 at 8:49 am

jesusmasterbated @ 161: "Bush said god consulted him on foreign policy,"

...could "god" formulate a foreign policy SO stupid that even HE couldn't find a way out?

7. Irreligion & Scandinavian Society - An interview with Phil Zuckerman

Comment #309664 by TIKI AL on December 31, 2008 at 11:50 am

Every godbot in America needs to listen to this.

Especially the ones that were just pounding on my door to "save" me with their iron age delusions and superstition.

8. For Good Self-Control, Try Getting Religious About It

Comment #309629 by TIKI AL on December 31, 2008 at 11:13 am

Shorter version: Sheep possess the characteristics of sheep.

9. Heaven for the Godless?

Comment #307666 by TIKI AL on December 28, 2008 at 11:28 am

I'll pass. There is no way I want to sit around with my French teacher and hear why I had to go to summer school for a half credit to graduate.

However, watching people stand in a line for 7 hours to kick Hitler in the balls might be entertaining.

10. My Christmas message? There's probably no God

Comment #307618 by TIKI AL on December 28, 2008 at 9:26 am

So it turns out the pistol packing, flame throwing Santa in Covina, Ca who killed 9 and burned the house down during a Xmas party was an usher at the local Catholic church.

A lifetime of moral values couldn't hold a match to the appeal of a flame thrower?

11. What do atheists do at Christmas?

Comment #306817 by TIKI AL on December 26, 2008 at 12:05 pm

We brought x-mas in naked in the hot tub howling at the moon gorging on chocolate Santas.

The Ghirardelli ring around the tub was delicious this AM.

Pearl: Please take care of your liver, I found out after I got on the transplant list that it performs over 500 functions, including blogging.

12. What do atheists do at Christmas?

Comment #306807 by TIKI AL on December 26, 2008 at 11:20 am

Dhamma @ 201: I'm with you. 2 days ago at Walmart I happened to be walking behind a big guy who was brushing people aside, and overheard him holler at his wife, "Well godammit my ma KNOWS I don't have any money, and what the hell would I buy her anyway?"

Happy little godbots, spreading x-mas cheer.

13. What do atheists do at Christmas?

Comment #306386 by TIKI AL on December 24, 2008 at 3:06 pm

We put up a nice light and manger display a couple weeks ago to prevent a Christain egging.

The little Catholic neighbor girls fell in love with the Steiff shepard dog in the manger, and their parents didn't seem to notice that the life size cut outs of the 3 wisemen were actually Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and Richard Dawkins.

Peace on Earth.

14. Poll Finds No Boost in Church Attendance during Economic Crisis

Comment #304075 by TIKI AL on December 20, 2008 at 9:21 am

Metch@8: "I prayed for my shit not to stink, but it still stank. Now I'm an Atheist."

I just emptied the cat box and am proud to report that they must also be atheists.

15. Obama Chooses Divisive Inaugural Pastor

Comment #303949 by TIKI AL on December 19, 2008 at 9:00 pm

Bad choice, but my take is that the wingnuts on the committee had some input on this:

"WASHINGTON, DC - Senator Dianne Feinstein, Chairman of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, today announced the program for the 56th Presidential Inauguration, which will take place on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol on January 20, 2009.

"I am delighted to announce this superb line-up of participants in the 2009 inaugural ceremonies," said Senator Feinstein. "The inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama will be an event of historic proportion. It is appropriate that the program will include some of the world's most gifted artists from a wide range of backgrounds and genres."


The program participants were invited by the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies and chosen by the Chairman, the Presidential-elect and the Vice President-elect. In addition to Senator Feinstein, the members of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies include: Senator Bob Bennett, Ranking Member of the Senate Rules Committee; Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid; Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi; House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer; and House Republican Leader John Boehner.

The order of the program will be as follows:

Musical Selections
The United States Marine Band

Musical Selections
The San Francisco Boys Chorus and the San Francisco Girls Chorus

Call to Order and Welcoming Remarks
The Honorable Dianne Feinstein

Invocation
Dr. Rick Warren, Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA

Musical Selection
Aretha Franklin"

...Think Aretha following "Dr" Rick will show him some R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

16. Religion in [Australian] schools to go God-free

Comment #301602 by TIKI AL on December 15, 2008 at 7:49 am

Does the Australian X-mas Playboy have a nude virgin Mary on the cover like the Mexican X-mas Playboy?

Fox news and some Catholics are engaged in Muslim cartoon-like outrage over it.

She might actually fill some pews:
http://www.theimproper.com/Template_Article.aspx?IssueId=4&ArticleId=2863

17. Vatican tightens in vitro opposition

Comment #301022 by TIKI AL on December 13, 2008 at 7:21 am

Amira@42: "Reality has never been a valid currency amongst Catholics".

Aren't you forgetting the stellar research they have compiled regarding witch flotation verification?

18. Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People

Comment #298856 by TIKI AL on December 8, 2008 at 5:54 pm

DarwinsPitbull @ 7: If I knew that Jesus M&M joke you told the nuns, I would have added it to my repertoire.

Was it painful when they surgically removed that ruler from the back of your hand?
Are you able to eat M&Ms?

19. Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People

Comment #298772 by TIKI AL on December 8, 2008 at 4:01 pm

I can remember asking George Carlin type questions of my Lutheran Sunday school teacher and getting into trouble because none of it made any logical sense to me.

I knew I was right when I was having a beer on July 4th with my dad in our back yard, and said "I'm having a hard time with this life after death crap, what's your take on it?"

He swatted a fly, and in a flawless Jack Nicholson impression said, "Where do ya suppose HE is now?".

20. Hunting new Earths and the edge of the universe

Comment #297826 by TIKI AL on December 6, 2008 at 2:41 am

rod-the-farmer @11: "Of course, there may even be a few fundies whose minds are still slightly open to the wonders of nature & science, who think this is all cool stuff. Like us, a bit."

If there are, I don't think they live in Arizona.

My evangelical neighbor told me that after reading about the giant telescopes, he had a urine producing nightmare that a bunny ranch asteroid was discovered and Jesus was the proprietor.

21. Atheists want God out of Ky. homeland security

Comment #297818 by TIKI AL on December 6, 2008 at 2:17 am

I think a god plaque is a waste of money as a terrorist deterrant.

Now a statue of General Petraeus brandishing a flame thrower while riding a T-Rex ...striking!

22. Win Ben Stein's Mind

Comment #297815 by TIKI AL on December 6, 2008 at 1:51 am

"Gonzales, trained as an astronomer, cited as proof of Intelligent Design that "Earth is in a prime location for observing the universe."

Is this kinda like being a foreign policy expert 'cause you can see Russia from yer house?

23. Forced to Marry

Comment #297808 by TIKI AL on December 6, 2008 at 12:57 am

sctparker @ 47:

Coming from a republican that repeats the Fox talking point that Obama is a socialist and calls responsible people "eco-freaks", that was priceless.

I stand by the fact that being forced to marry into the Palin family would be pure torture.

24. Forced to Marry

Comment #295180 by TIKI AL on December 2, 2008 at 12:50 am

I understand this same barbaric custom is still practiced in Wasilla, Alaska, amongst the primitive GOP failed abstinance tribe.

25. Review of 'The Four Horsemen'

Comment #294136 by TIKI AL on November 30, 2008 at 4:45 pm

Mr. Stafford, are you any relation to Mr. Spock?

Sorry, just file my comment with "1 thru 5".

26. Children of God?

Comment #293680 by TIKI AL on November 29, 2008 at 6:39 pm

Why is chocolate consumption by children so common? Because of the design of human tastebuds.
Human tastebuds, under normal developmental conditions, have a strong receptivity to chocolate. In a real sense, enjoying chocolate is the normal state of affairs.
Not enjoying chocolate is relatively unusual and unnatural.

27. It came from outer space: Fireball streaks across Canadian Prairie, crashes

Comment #289586 by TIKI AL on November 23, 2008 at 11:35 pm

Mrs. Claus was nagging about those loose heat shield tiles on the bottom of the sleigh just the other day. RIP, Santa.

And watch the government blame the disappearance of Christmas on the economy.

28. Bush set to relax endangered species rules

Comment #288391 by TIKI AL on November 21, 2008 at 7:51 pm

After Palin's latest disaster/interview I vote to put turkeys on the ES list.

Apparently the baby seal clubbing counter wasn't available for a back"drop", so she opted to stand in front of the turkey beheading station after pardoning one.
Picture being shoved upside down into a funnel with a hole in the bottom to let you see your friends decapitated heads in a trough of blood.

AND to add insult to fatal injury, the last thing you get to hear is Palin's voice just before your head joins the others for a blood bath.

The American children and I thank you for the warm and fuzzy Thanksgiving turkey pardon moment, Sarah.

We're having oatmeal this year.

29. Religion

Comment #285225 by TIKI AL on November 16, 2008 at 9:02 pm

No toll free number to purchase the new "revised date" official ascension robes?

30. ELECTION DAY IN THE USA. GO VOTE.

Comment #278695 by TIKI AL on November 5, 2008 at 2:52 am

Our giant creation museum theme park complete with a grand canyon not only voted for McCain but voted to change the state constitution to ban gay marriage.

Just when America takes a giant leap forward, the wheels come off the stagecoach. If you put your ear to the wagon rut, you can hear knuckles dragging. Arizona godbots.

31. For many evangelicals, it will be the end of the world if Obama wins

Comment #277531 by TIKI AL on November 3, 2008 at 11:31 pm

We're off to vote Obama, the wonderful Bama of Kos,

Because, because, because, because, becauuuuuse!

Because of the liberal things he does!

....Just got home from midnight cruisin' my red state hood. For the record, a shortbed Ford holds 95 McCain-Palin signs.

32. Surprise: Scientists for Obama

Comment #276432 by TIKI AL on November 1, 2008 at 7:54 pm

The Terminator on stage in Ohio with McCain has invited Obama to his next "Arnold Classic" weight lifting event:

"He needs to do something about those skinny legs. (wild cheers) Ve're gonna make him do some squats. Then ve're gonna beef up his scrawny little arms. (more cheers) But if only ve could do zomething to put zome meat on his ideas!" (cheers all around)

He also pointed out that McCain spent more time in a prison camp than Obama spent in the Senate. No mention of McCain giving out his name, rank, serial number, bombing routes and altitudes, and then considering suicide.

Did the Governator just help terminate McCain's campaign by motivating the opposition even more?
We live in Tempe, Arizona and mailed in our votes for Obama last week.

Gee, I hope California doesn't need a financial bailout from President Skinny Ass come 2009.

33. Barack Obama Exposes The Bible

Comment #275514 by TIKI AL on October 31, 2008 at 9:06 am

After taking the oath of office, Obama turns to the crowd and says, "I hope you Christains aren't too upset with me for pretending to believe in God in order to get this job." ...Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Top 10 2009 employment suggestions for Bush and Cheney:
1. Unwanted kitten and puppy executioners
2. Embalmers
3. Autopsy helpers
4. Septic tank cleaners
5. Anal laser techs
6. Repo men
7. Bounty hunters
8. Nigerian banking scam phone operators
9. Waterboarders
10. Intensive care unit plug pullers

34. Children need to be sprinkled with fairy dust

Comment #272329 by TIKI AL on October 27, 2008 at 8:50 am

"What, after all, is the difference between Jesus walking on water, or turning water into wine, and a witch turning a prince into a frog?" ...Richard Dawkins #7.

...Since a frog also appears to walk on water, I'm guessing, not much?

Jesus, the "other" Santa.

35. Countdown: Palin Wants To Help Special Needs Kids By Doing Away With Science

Comment #271787 by TIKI AL on October 26, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Since donning "The Imbeciles New Clothes", why hasn't Palin been fined for appearing to be naked on TV?

Janet Jackson would.

36. A 'values' voter speaks her mind on Obama

Comment #267262 by TIKI AL on October 20, 2008 at 11:32 am

A perfect example of what happens to the human "brain" when it is subjected to cradle to grave religious and republican propaganda.

A hearty "mission accomplished" to her parents, preachers, Rush Limbaugh, Hannity, Colter, Fox News, right wing talk radio, etc.

We are mailing our "Bama Ballots" today in Tempe Az to offset that blonde mountain of tollerance.

37. Interview with John Lennox

Comment #264902 by TIKI AL on October 15, 2008 at 12:24 pm

He lost me at "evidence presented by Christ".

38. Leading geneticist Steve Jones says human evolution is over

Comment #261773 by TIKI AL on October 7, 2008 at 10:57 am

Did Dr William Shockley(transistor) get into trouble when he applied his theory of genetic discourse to the intelligence of blacks?

It seems to me 59 million Bush voters proved the theory without race being a factor.

At least if we keep walking upright to the poles our backs should get stronger, no?

39. Dawkins: a theologian's perspective

Comment #261224 by TIKI AL on October 6, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Graham Tomlin? ...Lilly Tomlin made more sense as Edith Ann.

"Jesus told a story about a man digging in a field, who found a box of hidden treasure, and who sold all he had to buy that field."

...So if I purchase the lot next door and a metal detector, jeebus will see me thru these hard times! Full time prophet and part time financial advisor. Who knew?

40. New Rules for Sarah Palin and Her Witchdoctor

Comment #261192 by TIKI AL on October 6, 2008 at 2:13 pm

If the good doctor could actually make a witch disappear, would'nt Godzilla from Wasilla have gone "poof" in front of the congregation?

41. Sherri Shepherd, Bill Maher Spar Over God: Bill Tells Sherri She Should Go To Psych Ward

Comment #257983 by TIKI AL on October 1, 2008 at 10:08 am

"catholics do seem to break out into various kinds of kinkiness..."

...call me old fashioned, but there is something about a pretty blonde in a Catholic school uniform arriving to the party with handcuffs, ballgags, and a tube of "Gospel-lube" that I find quite erotic.

42. Debate: Would We Be Better Off Without Religion?

Comment #255815 by TIKI AL on September 28, 2008 at 10:00 am

Yes.

43. The real difference between liberals and conservatives

Comment #250202 by TIKI AL on September 19, 2008 at 4:22 am

Don't take the red pill unless you want to blog standing up for a few days. They are made from concentrated chili peppers.

44. Turkey bans biologist Richard Dawkins' website

Comment #250190 by TIKI AL on September 19, 2008 at 3:37 am

I agree that site banning is a step in the wrong direction, but Turkey has made great progress in advanced flotation methods for witch detection.

No one expects the inquisition.

45. Palin: average isn't good enough

Comment #246630 by TIKI AL on September 12, 2008 at 3:46 pm

I'll concede that:
Republicans are corporate whores.
Democrats are corporate lap dancers.

Will you concede that voting for the Lebanese terrorist, Ralph Nader in Florida gave us 8 years of disaster and 2 young far right religious SCOTUS peeps?

Baby steps ...baby steps.

46. Palin: average isn't good enough

Comment #246278 by TIKI AL on September 12, 2008 at 4:36 am

Remember, remember, the British headlines of November. ('04)

"How can 59 million people be so STUPID???"

Let's stay focused this time, and call them on their godbot fairytales.

Pearl: Hope you feel better. A Hummer? And you were in a mini? Owee!

47. Palin: average isn't good enough

Comment #246263 by TIKI AL on September 12, 2008 at 3:56 am

And speaking of great patriotic Russian wars ...

"Palin's Foreign Policy Epiphany"
(sung by Robert Goulee)

On a clear day
Rise and look around you
And you'll see the Russian shore.
On a clear day
It will not astound you
That god has told you to start another war!

48. Palin: average isn't good enough

Comment #246110 by TIKI AL on September 11, 2008 at 8:47 pm

Anyone catch the Palin ABC interview tonight?
She has no qualms about starting a war with Russia, and backed off talking to god.

Bush Doctrine of Quantum Mechanics
Gibson: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Palin: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Gibson: Huh? I... I don't know that.

Palin tried to get away with not knowing what the bush doctrine was. She got busted.

49. Palin: average isn't good enough

Comment #243253 by TIKI AL on September 5, 2008 at 10:24 am

Any gains Palin might have made with the wingers were wiped out by Mr. name, rank, serial number, bombing altitude, and war crimes statement for medical care McCain last night.

It was difficult to listen to what he had to say in front of the green screen with Kermit the Frog singing "It ain't easy being green" in my head on a loop.

50. Palin: average isn't good enough

Comment #243019 by TIKI AL on September 5, 2008 at 1:45 am

979. eepist: dull? yes, and disgusting too.

Last night MSNBS set up a camera in Palin's sister's tavern in Alaska where they had the convention on the TV, and the patrons were acting like moosies in heat.

The camera crew went back tonight to monitor the energy for McCain, and the football game was on. Oops!