25 COMMENTS

  1. Ah! True brotherly love. It’s a good thing they did not mention sisters (women) in that statement. There may be hope for humanity after all.

  2. When religious diametric dogma is lampooned in the national press…it is all over now baby blue!

  3. “If your bee-hive be of divided insects, seal and blurt as many of the other insects as you possibly can.”*

    *What the mildly confused-looking man, back row, far left, heard.

  4. Alternate caption contest?

    Jesus: I caught a fish this big.

    Man in crowd: Boy, this guy tells a lot of tall tales.

  5. Look, I’m Richard Dawkins not a resurrected Spike Milligan – the photographer got his lighting set up all wrong.

  6. Jesus addresses the 500 eyewitnesses…

    “Honestly, then some big hairy arsed centurion put nails through the palms of my hands like so…”

  7. But you don’t understand; it’s the others that have formed sects, “I” follow the true religion!
    “I” know this because I was told this many times by others who follow the one true religion.

  8. ….And one day maybe 1200 years from now, my organization will have the entire planet assuming this posture….

  9. “I told you a thousand times, it’s LADIES’ NIGHT! Just when I’m about to get some benefits from this stupid gig and then you bastards have to show up. Now get lost or I’ll set the locusts and toads after your sorry asses again!”

  10. And when Hitchins suddenly realised he was stood outside the Pearly Gates, I jumped out from behind a wall and shouted ‘SURPRISE !!!’

  11. In reply to #13 by Lancshoop:

    And when Hitchins suddenly realised he was stood outside the Pearly Gates, I jumped out from behind a wall and shouted ‘SURPRISE !!!’

    While Thor looked over your shoulder from inside and worked out his decision!

  12. Little Greek farmer on the right – to the crowd:-

    “I don’t care if the giant harpies ARE stealing your goats – Go and make your own scare-crows – This one’s mine!”

  13. ” If you ‘believe’ in me – your soccer coach – divide into colourful clubs, I will teach you ball ‘skills’, get you fit till it ‘hurts’, select the ‘Best’ and invite the world teams to play for a ‘gold chalice’, here – Rio de Janeiro”. “Arms out – LETS PARTY BRAZIL !!! “

  14. In reply to #13 by Lancshoop:

    And when Hitchins suddenly realised he was stood outside the Pearly Gates, I jumped out from behind a wall and shouted ‘SURPRISE !!!’

    To which he replied “Why did you hide yourself so?”

  15. In reply to #18 by PERSON:

    In reply to #13 by Lancshoop:

    And when Hitchins suddenly realised he was stood outside the Pearly Gates, I jumped out from behind a wall and shouted ‘SURPRISE !!!’

    To which he replied “Why did you hide yourself so?”

    To which I replied ‘Be honest, you didn’t really look did you ? Here’s a copy of Sagan’s pale blue dot video – I’m all over the place in it.

  16. In reply to #18 by PERSON:

    To which he replied “Why did you hide yourself so?”

    Hitch would have credited Bertrand Russell for that. 😉

    Steve

  17. In reply to #4 by The Jersey Devil:

    Alternate caption contest?

    Jesus: “There be some standing here, who shall not taste death till they see the Son of Man coming in his Kingdom, till they see the Kingdom of God, till they have seen the Kingdom of God come with power. This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. This generation shall not pass, till all these things be done. Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled. So if I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?”

    Follower: “Uh…”

    Jesus: “I want this prediction to be absolutely clear, all right?”

    Follower: “But what if the world doesn’t end before -“

    Jesus: “It will.”

    Follower: “But supposing it doesn’t…”

    Jesus: “It will. Trust me, I’m omniscient.”

    Follower: “Yes, but hypothetically…”

    Jesus: “I’m the Son of God! You do want me to give your moral C.V. a reference, don’t you?”

    Follower: “Yes…”

    Jesus: “Then shut up and pay attention. There may be a test later on.”

  18. But verily I say unto you that there shall come a day when there shall be light bulbs. And it shall take but one of my followers to change one. But verily shall ye remember that the One is Three and the Three are One

  19. … and they threw stones this big at me, just because I mentioned the name “JEHOVA” … (apologies to the Life of Brian sketch)

  20. To Ignorant Amos (No. 8): Great caption! Actually, though, I read where some anatomists did experiments on cadavers (jeez, I hope they were cadavers) and found that putting the nails through the palms won’t work. The nails would just strip out between the bones of the palm (metacarpals). They think that the nails must have been put between the two bones of the forearm, radius and ulna, just above the wrist.

  21. In reply to #19 by Lancshoop:

    In reply to #18 by PERSON:

    In reply to #13 by Lancshoop:

    And when Hitchins suddenly realised he was stood outside the Pearly Gates, I jumped out from behind a wall and shouted ‘SURPRISE !!!’

    To which he replied “Why did you hide yourself so?”

    To which I replied ‘Be honest, you didn’t really look did you ? Here’s a copy of Sagan’s pale blue dot video – I’m all over the place in it.

    How unfortunate! – You were on top of Mt St. Helens when it erupted blowing tiny specks of dust all over the planet??

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