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The pro-choice groups do not seem to acknowledge that abortion is not a perfect answer. What goes unsaid is that when a woman has an abortion she loses more than an unwanted pregnancy. Often she loses her self-respect. No woman can forget a pregnancy no matter how it ends.

Why can we not view abortion as one of those anguished decisions in which human beings struggle to do the best they can in trying circumstances? Why is abortion viewed so coldly and factually on the one hand and so judgmentally on the other? Why is it not akin to the same painful experience families must sometimes make to allow a loved one to die?

I wonder how we can begin to change the context in which we think about abortion. How can we begin to think about it preemptively? What is it in the trauma of loss of life—be it loved, born or unborn—from which we can learn? There is much I have yet to resolve. Even as I refuse to pass judgments on other women’s lives, I weep for the children who might have been. I suspect I am not alone.

I’ve heard it said that no woman is ever “happy” she’s had an abortion, nope, the emotion most have is “Relief” – the lifting of a crushing burden (that I am in no position to judge), the feelings are rarely causal and there is a price of pain/guilt the woman carries with her (that I am in no position to judge).

As one of those guys who has a profoundly deep appreciation for, love of, and ability to connect with babies and young children it makes all the sense in the world to me.  There is a difference between a developing fetus and a born child who has taken on the mantle of personhood – one that shouldn’t be denied for self-serving political purposes.